Oct 28, 2008

Look! A poem!

I think God gave me this poem; I pray that it speaks to you. Have a wonderful week!

King of Kings

The background for defeat had been carefully set.
The enemy proclaiming, "I'll get them yet!
Their bodies are weak!
They shake to their core!
They have no hope
In this eternal war!

I'm much stronger and smarter and craftier than they.
Oooh. . .they make the perfect prey!
With their selfish hearts
And their lustful eyes
It will be so easy
To bring their demise!

Mount up, you spirits and minions of mine!
Let's make quick work of the deaf, dumb, and blind."

"Wait! What is that rumbling and roar that I hear?
Is it just me, or does it sound painfully near?"
Forced into silence
Frozen in place
The enemy is then
Brought face-to face

With the One who is called Faithful and True
Mounted majestically on His steed, too.
Holy eyes aflame
And Sword in hand
His glory too much
For evil to stand.

Satan's forced to his knees with his face in the mud
Now level with the hem of the robe dipped in blood.
A reminder of the day
Of his victory sweet
That ended too quickly
With bitter defeat.

Then the Holy of Holies opened His mouth
And the sweetest and fiercest of words sprang out.
"You mess with them
You mess with Me.
When you come after them
It's Me you'll see.

I go where they go; I am where they are.
You can try to advance but you won't get far.
So stalk all you want
And pursue if you must.
But you'll end up back here
With your face in the dust.

For they are my beloved. My sheep. My bride.
And under my protective wings they hide.
You can't get to them
Except through Me, you see.
And we both know
That before Me you must flee."

And in that instant, Satan did just that!
He tucked tail and ran in no time flat!
A cocky foe
So assured of a win
Was put in his place
By Jesus again.

So, why do I fear and why do I doubt?
This is MY king I've been talking about!
Satan attacks
He threatens and scares
He comes after me
With whatever he dares.

But Jesus continues to call and to stress
That He is my rock, my mighty fortress!
I am hidden, protected
The safest of girls.
For greater is He in me
Than he in the world!

This is your King, ladies. Don't ever let the enemy convince you that anything is impossible for you who are in Christ. You are covered by the King of Kings and Lord Of Lords. Rest in Him and He will assure your victory. I love y'all!

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Oct 13, 2008

First Floor Living

"Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place." Psalm 51:6

You know, I have read this verse multiple times, but it is hitting me afresh in this new phase in my life. God is taking me through an unprecedented time of uprooting lies, darkness, and strongholds in the deepest parts of me. I was telling a friend today that I feel like His garden and He is tilling up every single, little bitty inch of soil in me. About two weeks ago He had me in such bewilderment that spiritually and emotionally I simply didn't know which way was up. As Brenda (my counselor) put it, I didn't feel like I had a place to land. I was confused and astonished at the depths of what I saw in myself.

You see, a few weeks back Brenda told me she thought God was leading us to start exploring how I felt about what happened to Gabi and how that made me feel about Him. Although I wasn't really excited about delving into the pain of losing my first child all over again, I really didn't expect to find what I did. I thought that I was pretty healed and had found my peace with God, but man, He showed me some deep-seated belief issues that have developed from my pain. Issues that I didn't even know were there! Crazy. And these issues are keeping me from where God wants me now--emotionally, spiritually, and where I've seen it the most, relationally.

Did you hear that? Something hidden and unacknowledged in my deepest places was recklessly playing itself out in my life. And if left unchecked, it will continue to undermine every relationship and taint everything I try to do with the LORD. I will continue to hit the same wall, have the same frustrations, and fight the same discouraging fights.

I like the way that Brenda explains it. She says when difficult events happen in our lives, a lot of times we stuff our emotions and questions and feelings down into the basement of ourselves. And then we proceed to live on the first floor. We're going about life just fine, thinking all is dandy all the time living in denial of our deepest hurts and pains. We are, in effect, separated from our true selves. Extraordinary.

Well, you know how I feel about authenticity, so when I found out I had a basement filled with junk I wasn't confronting and dealing with, I made a decision to sweep it out. I asked God to shine light on every dark place in me. I wanted Jesus, the Truth, to dwell in the deepest places of me. I wanted to not only let myself in to see what was down there, I wanted to let Jesus in to heal it so I could be more whole for myself and my family and more effective for Him. And like I said, what I found ain't perty.

So, yes, I am a tilled-up garden. Yes, He is showing me the lies and doubt that have grown up like weeds around me. But, PRAISE HIS NAME, he is systematically and lovingly yanking out those weeds and beginning to replace them with seeds of truth and faith. He is amazing!

So, my question to you is. . .is there a wall you seem to keep hitting in your relationships either with God or with other people? Are you fighting the same battle you've been fighting for years? (I guess that's two questions.) Maybe a trip down to your basement is in order. Would you be willing to ask Him to shine light on your dark places knowing that He is faithful to heal them? I'll be the first to tell you that it's not easy or pleasant; in fact, it's extremely uncomfortable. But, I think it's worth it.

And, gals, when He reveals those ugly places to us, don't you dare let the enemy wrap you up in shame for there is NO CONDEMNATION for us who are lovers of Jesus (Rom. 8:1)! God reveals so that we can repent and heal, not so we can beat ourselves up. We must own what's down there and then lay it at the feet of Christ. It may sound something like, "God, I am having a tough time believing that you love me because of. . . Please help me with that. Guide me and show me what to do now." And then watch for His instruction. And you know what? If your basement looks anything like mine and you're having a tough time dealing with what you find, don't feel bad about having to find a good Christian counselor. Sometimes we need help from someone wiser; I think that's okay.

Girls, don't be afraid of what's down there. Be afraid of living a life separated from your true self and from your true God. It will cripple you.

Father God, give us the courage to ask you to shine light on our darkness. We need You to invade every part of us if we're ever going to consistently walk the full life You call us to. We love You and we trust You with every part of us. Thank You for being willing to get Your hands dirty in our lives. Amen.

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Oct 6, 2008

Oh. . .life.

Hey, everybody! These last couple of weeks have been a little crazy so I haven't been able to carve out time to write a devotional for you. But it is my desire to do so sometime this week. I'm sorry I'm inconsistent sometimes, but you know, life is life. Sometimes it doesn't fit into my schedule. . .right?! It might be more convenient for you to subscribe to this blog so that it comes directly to your inbox when I post. That way you're not always having to check to see if I've written something new. Talk to you soon! Love you all.