Oh, Mercy!

"A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace". . .from "Inside Out" by Hillsong United

As I stepped out of my quiet time this morning, I stepped right into a puddle of sin. Granted, it was a small puddle, but a puddle nonetheless. My first reaction was to berate myself for not avoiding it; I should know better, after all. But as I confessed it to Jesus, in His sweet way He reminded me of the lyrics above. I have failed thousands of times and will continue to stumble through this journey with Christ; it's a muddy, sloppy road. However, His mercy remains. I can never err so much that He throws up His hands and says, "Well, that was the last straw. I'm done with her. Be gone, Misti Dawn Gil!" Yes, my name is a weather forecast. . .focus.

My problem is I keep thinking God is like everyone around me, sizing me up according to what I do, how I perform. But, thankfully, He operates in a blessedly different manner.

". . .the LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Sam. 16:7b

When I raise my voice with Cooper, God sees the wounded place from which that yelling comes. When I isolate myself, He sees that scared little girl inside of me afraid of getting hurt again. When He sees you reach for that drink, or food, or whatever it may be that you use to anesthetize, He sees your hurt and fear too. And His heart breaks.

He's not so much watching our actions and waiting to pounce as much as He's walking beside us catching us when we trip up. He is, well, tender. I love that description. . .tender. It just speaks peace deep down into my soul. And nowhere in scripture does he display this quality more, in my opinion, than in His encounter with the adulterous woman. (Click on that link and give it a quick read if you're not familiar with it.)

I am that woman. Am I sleeping with another man? No. But I bed with other sins like Anger, Isolation, and Performance way more often than I would like to fess up to. And I am so thankful that when I'm snatched up by my old sins again, Jesus repeats those words He used so long ago.

"Well, I do not condemn you either; all I ask is that you go and from now on avoid the sins that plague you." John 8:11 The Voice

Sweet Jesus. So full of compassion. There is no condemnation. No Tsk-Tsking. There is a loving hand reaching out to encourage us away from the sin that imprisons us and toward the life that frees us. Ladies, it's not about what you do. Our God is much deeper than that. He sees your heart and He longs to heal it. Let's not get so focused on our behaviors that we don't see the heart behind the issue. We must dive in and ask what is behind it all, what is causing us to circle back to that sin. Let's ask God, like David, to go deeper, to heal us from the inside out so that our sin no longer entangles us.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm. 139:23-24

Jesus, we get so down on ourselves when we fail. We want so badly to be everything we think You want. But what you want is our heart, fully surrendered, resting in your sufficiency, not our ability. So, as much as we would like a nice, succinct list of behaviors to follow, we forfeit that desire. We now give you our hearts. Transform them and, in the process, us. We love you, amen.

I Need A Favor. . .

Okay, it seems that my old feed provider (the thing that sends you an automatic email with my post in it) just isn't cutting it on my end; I have absolutely no way to manage the account. So, I have switched to a new one, but I need to make sure all of you are on the new provider as well. Here's where you come in. If the email you receive from me is a black and white copy with the entire devotional included and the SUBJECT line is always "Walls Down" then you're who I need to talk to. Could you please go to the bottom of this email and unsubscribe? THEN (don't forget this step!) return to my blogsite at www.wallsdown.blogspot.com and resubscribe with the new feed provider? It's relatively the same process...typing your email address into a little white box. You will have to answer a few questions, but it's very simple and takes only a minute or two. Thank you so much!!

If your email is blue and brown, topped with the Walls Down header, and has a subject line that is the name of the weekly post, then you don't have to do anything! You're already on the new provider. Hurrah!

Please let me know if you have any questions. I so appreciate you helping me out here. Have a great weekend!

A 151 Heart

Happy Thursday! You're almost done with your work week! Woohoo!!

Thank you all for your kind words and concerns about Cooper. He is doing much better this week. However, I wasn't until a few days ago. Those of you who have children--have you ever noticed that? Your child has an issue that brings him to shoulder-heaving sobs, but he has moved on by mid-afternoon while you're left in a downward spiraling whirlpool of worry and discouragement? Not fair, I say. NOT FAIR! However, I'd rather me be left dealing with it than him. I don't have to like it, though.

I tend to do that. . .wallow. Anyone else? Do I have any Pity Party attenders out there? What is up with that, anyway? Why is it so difficult to take God at His word and rest in His promises of provision and security? What is it about us that must constantly turn a molehill into a mountain? To take a problem, dissect it like an 8th grade lab frog and lament over the complexities of sewing it back together? Why do we do this?

As I was ruminating over Cooper's hypothetical school issues, God was already at work safeguarding his heart. Sunday morning at about 3 a.m. Coop woke up wailing that scared "Mommy!" scream all moms hate to hear. As I slouched onto his bed, he reported that he had a bad dream. I think he was stuck in a barrel (stupid Super Mario Brothers Wii game). I reassured him, prayed over him, and after he begged Satan to return to Jesus, he drifted off to a sweet slumber. I thought. He woke me again to tell me he just had a good dream. Awesome! Though reassured, I wasn't thrilled about being jostled awake for happy news. If I get woken up at 3:30 a.m. someone better be in imminent danger--real or imagined. We thanked God for better dreams and quickly fell asleep. Then. . .he had the nerve to rouse me a 3rd time. As I was preparing a speech in my head detailing the benefits of sleep, he announced that in this dream he was a spy peering into Heaven. Suddenly, it didn't matter that it was 4:00 in the morning.

"Mommy, I was a spy and I was looking into Heaven and Satan and Jesus were fighting. Satan was saying, 'I'm giving Cooper bad dreams!' and Jesus was saying, 'I'm giving Cooper good dreams!' Then I typed in my spy thing (fingers typing air guitar style) and I said, 'I want to see Jesus close up.' Then it zoomed into His heart and I saw power! There was power in His heart. It said 151 and 151!"

By the way, Cooper's idea of a huge amount is 151, so the fact that Jesus had that total squared is a big deal. I am convinced that Jesus spoke to Cooper through that dream that night, telling him that the Almighty is with him all the time, fighting for his little self. But, honestly, I think it did more to encourage me than it did Coop. In all of my imagined fears, God was saying, "Misti, chill out. I've got him." I should have been immediately ripped out of my emotional funk, but I'm stubborn. Hey. . .keep your "amens" to yourself.

Yesterday, as I, still emotionally weary, was putting Coop to bed he revealed during our nightly talking time that something had "hurt him on the inside a little" today at school. I'm thinking, "Guh. . .I don't know how much more my emotions can handle. Leave my little boy alone!" It seems another little girl--what is it with these girls?--laughed at Coop because his favorite color is red, a color that she had decided was a girls' color. She actually pointed at him and laughed. Really? I mean, who does that? So, I asked Cooper how he responded.

"I just said in my head, That wasn't very nice. But it's okay because Jesus loves me!" He stated that he felt much better after that.

*sigh* I love You so much, Jesus. Thank you that he seems to be getting it even while I have no idea what I'm doing in this parenting thing.

And I don't. I think I have an aspect of it figured out and then Coop comes home with something that blows my theory out of the water. I can't seem to figure it out, or even stop worrying about figuring it out. But I'm learning that I don't have to have it all figured out. My comfort zone is in having everything tidily wrapped up with a neat little bow...If I can make sense of it, I can live with it. But to my disillusionment, God doesn't work that way. He is a day-by-day, moment-by-moment kind of God. And sometimes, He makes absolutely no sense.

Earlier this week Coop and I read about Abram in Genesis. . .how God just told him to leave his home and "go to the land [God] will show him." God didn't say, "Now, Abram, here's the plan. You're going to head towards Shechem. When you get there, build and altar and then head out to Bethel. You will eventually end up in Canaan. . .oh, nevermind. Let me draw you a map." No, He said, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you. And do you know what Abram did? He went! I'm curious as to whether he was wondering what the heck God was up to. Did it make any kind of sense to Abram at all? It doesn't seem to matter because he obeyed. Can you imagine that conversation?

Abram: Alright, Sarai, Lot. . .pack up. We're heading out.
Sarai: Uh, where?
Abram: I don't know.
Sarai: Excuse me?
Abram: I don't know. . .I'm just doin' what I'm told.

I wish I were more like Abram, just doing what I'm told. But so often I find myself questioning God. Why? Where? Well, how long will it take? Who will be there? Is it gonna hurt? Can I take Lou with me?
And, unfortunately, something I have figured out (yey!) is that all my questioning isn't just an intelligent, inquisitive mind at work (boo!). It is unbelief. Period.

I question because I don't trust God's promise that He will take care of me (Ps. 23). I don't trust that I'm going to be okay because God is with me wherever I go (Jos. 1:9). I say I believe Him with my mouth, but so often my actions betray me.

Unbelief. Yuck.

Today, like the demon-possessed boy's father in the gospels, I'm asking for God to help me overcome my unbelief. No more worrying. No more fretting. No more having to have everything figured out so I can have peace to move on. No more. I must start finding peace in God's love and care, not my ability to make sense of it all.

Cooper is right--Jesus does have a heart full of power and it's about time I start trusting it.

Jesus, I confess my unbelief today. I'm sorry that I so often try to figure it all out. That's not the adventurous life you've called me to. Help me and my friends here to trust You moment-by-moment, even if we don't know what's around the corner. Empower us to be comfortable simply knowing that You do. Thank You, Jesus, for being trustworthy. We love you, Amen.

Thank You. . .

I just wanted to send you all a quick thank you for the loads of encouragement you have given me these last two weeks. In this quest to follow Christ with this writing thing and to conquer my self-doubt in the midst of it, your words have been invaluable. I am so humbled that God would condescend to use someone as broken and sinful as myself to speak any kind of truth into your lives, and I am grateful you would even listen. Thank you for your love, your trust and your faithfulness. I will strive to be worthy of that trust. I love you. . .

God in the Mess

I'm heavy-hearted today. I just sent my little kindergartener off to school in tears because he didn't want to go. "They make fun of me, Mommy." He's referring to a little girl who looked at one of his drawings and told him, "You're not even an artist" and a couple of older boys he's convinced were laughing at him one day. These instances seem small to us adults, but to my soft-hearted sweetie, they deliver a powerful blow to his sensitive soul.

My husband and I are very intentional about filling Cooper's heart with love, affirmation, and encouragement in an effort to give him a sense of confidence and security. But after his reactions to these classmates, I find myself wondering if it is enough. I think my hope was that at his first peer insult Coop would be able to react with something like, "Whatever. I know I'm great and that God loves me. I don't need your approval." Expecting too much from a 5-yr-old?

I've been reminded afresh this morning that the world we live in is not all rainbows and butterflies. Yes, I already knew that, but some days Satan's plans slap me squarely in the face. I know that just as much as God has a plan to prosper Cooper and give him abundant, full life, Satan has a plan to completely annihilate him. As we were discussing this very thing in our family time this week (isn't it funny how God sets us up for our next trial), Coop and I illustrated it like this:



Let me explain this a little since evidently I'm not an artist either. In the bottom center is Cooper--with his cool, new hairdo--a road on either side of him. Every day he has a choice of which one he will take. The path to the left is Satan's journey for him (hence, the fire at the end) and God's is on the right. If you'll look closely you'll see that Satan's way is a pretty straight shot with no visible obstacles. We pointed out that it looks easier sometimes, but there are traps hidden along the way. That blobby thing in the middle of the road with "trees" covering it is supposed to depict that. Don't judge my skills! The "right" road looks more arduous. . .mountains, boulders, etc., but it leads to a joyful peace with Christ (big, happy face). Sidenote: look at Jesus loving on the little ones in the bottom right. . .precious. That was Coop's idea; Momma was so proud. However, Satan also has children. I don't know what to think of that, but I'm just choosing not to overanalyze it. The best part of the drawing is Cooper choosing to draw himself on God's pathway and writing "yes" next to it. He chooses Christ. Thank you, Jesus.

But, as I saw this morning when my son tried to fake a stomachache to stay home, choosing to believe Christ in theory is much easier than actually doing it. Choosing to believe what God says about you and your relationship with Him is much simpler before you're actually called on to do it. But that's the sticking point in our faith, isn't it? Are we really going to believe God in a way that influences the way we think and live or are we going to play church? I know, I know. It's not easy, but did God call us to a life of comfort and ease or of adventure? Think about it. . .are you really content with an unchallenging, boring life? Something comes alive in us when we are called to the mat to stand up for Christ. If we can get out of our slimy pit of negative thinking and risk to believe God's promises for us, He will surprise us with His faithfulness and care. He longs to speak life and love to us, but when we're stuck in comfortable coasting somehow we can't hear Him as well.

As much as I hate to see Cooper have to deal with the arrows aimed at his heart, I have to trust that God is using them to woo him into a passionate, intimate, believing relationship with Himself. I like the way Brent Curtis says it in The Sacred Romance:

". . .every single thing in the lives of both nations and individuals is orchestrated with this sole objective that they might seek God." (taken from Acts 17:26-28)

Every SINGLE thing. If I can take a step back and look at life's pain from an eternal perspective, my world brightens a bit. Is it still tremendously difficult to send my sweet angel into a gladiatorial arena? Absolutely! But am I going to rescue him from the realities of the world and rob him of God's internal work in his life to assuage my pain? NO. I'm going to pray in the difficulties he faces, whether traps set by the enemy or obstacles sent by God, he chooses to think God's thoughts. My only choice is to daily surrender him (and the rest of my life) to the Keeper of Our Hearts and trust that He is good and able. Again, it's a choice.

Peace or despair.

I can't help what God chooses for him; I can only help my heart in the midst of it. Surrender. Trust. If I want to be sane, they are my only options. And yours, too. Whatever is bigger than life to you right now, can you risk to hand it over to God? Can you trust that He ordained it, is using it to romance you, and is right in the middle of it to equip and comfort you? Stop your swirling thoughts for a sec and ask God to take over. Then do your best to let Him. Though it's way easier said than done, if we can manage to pull it off, the peace we receive really does pass all understanding. Give it a shot. I mean, it's better than the alternative of fretting and heavyheartedness, right?

Father, like Cooper did on paper, I choose you. I put myself on the "right" road today and entrust my precious boy to You knowing that You know what You're doing. And I pray for Cooper and the rest of my friends here, that You would enable them to completely surrender their trials to You today and believe Your promises to them. Uphold them, encourage them, and strengthen them to withstand the challenges before them today. Show yourself mighty and faithful. Thank you for loving us enough to get dirty in our lives. We love you, amen.

Update: Cooper just informed me that the children by Satan are laughing at him. Okay. . .I feel better.

To Boldly Go...

Happy New Year! Yes, I know it is the 11th, but as many of you know, I am perpetually running behind. So love me for who I am and accept my belated salutation with the warmth with which it is sent. Thank you.

Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm not normally the girl who sets life-changing resolutions this time of year. But for some reason, 2010 is different. Maybe it's because it's a new decade. Maybe it's because I've been on this self-evaluation and healing kick lately. OR . . . *insert light bulb above head here*. . . maybe it's because God has been kicking me in the pants regularly these last few weeks over the same issue.

"Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you. Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity because the days are evil." Eph. 5:14b-16

I have been asleep. Hiding. Running from God's call on my life. I have let my self-doubt intimidate and paralyze me. And I am grieved by that. God has been clear that His call on my life is to teach and exhort His people, but the responsibility and "bigness" of that has scared me into a dark corner of isolation and insecurity. The question that has continually been a boulder in my path is, "Who do you think you are that you think you have any wisdom to share?" But, I will listen no more. How thankful I am that God's M.O. is to use weak, frail, "normal" people like me to glorify Himself. Inconceivable but true.

So. . .that is why you have a blog today. If God is calling me to write in 2010, I will do it. My commitment to you is to have a weekly blog as long as God gives them to me. And I want you to hold me accountable. If I skip a week, call me out. I have a responsibility to glorify God with the gifts and talents He's given me. Don't let me get away with holing up in my house and ignoring His call. Your rebuke is welcome. But don't get crazy.

And since my M.O. is gettin' in yo' face, let me ask. . .What about you? Where in life have you been asleep? Sitting the bench? And what's keeping you there? Whatever it is, know that God is bigger than your particular obstacle. Either He's God or He's not. Either He's big enough to equip you with whatever you need to accomplish the task, or He's not. You must decide what you truly believe. Do you believe God's truth about you or Satan's lies?

Power or paralysis...the choice is yours.

God wants you to "make the most of every opportunity" that He has given you. He is asking that you no longer listen to the negativity that swims in your head. You are a child of the Most High God and you have His Spirit living in you. You have no reason to shy away from His calling. So this year, this decade, resolve with me to go boldly wherever God beckons knowing that He will equip, empower and sustain you.

Until next week. . .

Somethin' vs. Nothin'

"She is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
She is trying
But the canyon's ever widening
In the depths of her cold heart
So she sets out on another misadventure just to find
She's another two years older
And she's three more steps behind"


I was listening to this song by Casting Crowns this morning, and though I think it is speaking about a woman who does not know Jesus, it seems applicable to us as believers as well.

"She is running a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction..."

Running. Striving. Scratching and Clawing. Do you feel like that today? Do you feel like no matter what you do, you just can't make it work? You can't pull it all together or figure it all out? May I suggest that maybe you're not supposed to? May I be a bit bolder and ask you if maybe you're trying so hard because you're trying to do it on your own or run your own agenda? I hear ya'...I do that a lot. I happen to think my agenda is a pretty good plan. To my surprise, God is not about approving my plans or running things the way I see fit. He seems to have His own thing going on and it ain't about me doing my thing in my way.

No, instead, he talks to me A LOT about abiding in Him. Abiding...what does that even mean? There are many definitions, but the one that grabbed my attention earlier this week was "to remain as one; not to become another or different". It reminded me of the parable Jesus told in John 15.

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains (abides) in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; APART (becoming another) from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned." vss. 5-6

"Nothing". Hmm. "Really, God? Nothing?" I wonder what He really means. Good ol' Webster has a nice way of summing up the meaning of the word nothing: "of no account: worthless". So let me think here. If I hang tight to Jesus and try to follow His plan as much as possible, I will bear MUCH fruit, but if I decide to try to push my agenda, the only thing I can accomplish is worthless and of no account. It seems like an easy choice, yet I so often pick the latter. Anybody with me? Anybody get to the end of their week and realize they have been running in the wrong direction the entire time and feeling older but still 3 steps behind?

Ladies, we must make an intentional effort to abide in Christ...to not become another or different. We must stay stuck fast to Him so that we know the steps we are making every moment of every day are falling along the path He has laid out for us. If we want to be fruitful; if we want to have peace at the end of the day; if we don't want to be like that branch that is withered and prime for destruction, we must approach Jesus throughout the day and check in. Have your time with Him everyday but don't stop there!

My husband sets his phone alarm to strike every hour so he can check in with God. He prays for guidance and gets his mind focused back on Jesus. You don't have to do that, but kick up your walk with Jesus a notch. Create a way to keep in regular contact with Him. And let me know what it is...I would love to hear how varied everyone's approach will be.

Our life is not about what WE accomplish and what WE do. It is about being an instrument for Jesus. It's about Him. If we have any kind of chance to make an impact for Him that's worth while and of much account, we must keep in close communication with Him. Put Him first, talk to Him often, and the fruit you will bear will be abundant and eternal.

I love you, girls. Have a restful weekend walking closely to Jesus. Tell Him I said hello!

Belief + ?

So, I have read or heard the story of the "good Samaritan" umpteen times in my short life as a follower of Jesus, so when it came up in my devotional today I was none too excited. I'm thinking, Oh, man. I've read this a million times! Guh! But, being the forever obedient servant of the Lord that I am *wink, wink* I decided to plod ahead and see if just maybe the Creator of the Universe might be able to pierce my superior intellect with a new revelation. Hello, Pride.

Anyhoo, I'm four verses into the story in Luke 10, and I'm stopped in my tracks at the six words in verse 29.

"...but he wanted to justify himself..."

I didn't even get to the portion of the parable we so often hear in the pew. God honed my focus onto the man to which the parable was told. This expert of the law asked what we needed to do to be saved and received the Great Commandments as his answer...to love the Lord with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love others as we love ourselves. Jesus, God in the flesh, looked him in the eyes and told him what would make him right in the Father's eyes. How to be justified. Righteous. Deemed acceptable. Yet the man was not satisfied with Jesus' definition. He wanted to "justify himself". The entire parable we are so familiar with is Jesus' answer to the man's attempt to make himself right in his own eyes.

So, instead of focusing on the parable, I want us to look at the man behind it. A man who could not accept Jesus' justification. I'd like us to ask ourselves, "Am I like him?" "Do I dismiss God's definition of righteousness so easily?"

"Consider Abraham, 'He believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.'" Gal. 3:6

What made Abraham right in the eyes of God? Belief. Faith. It's that simple. Not belief AND having a quiet time every day. Not faith AND never making a mistake, following every letter of the Christian law.

BELIEF. That's it. That's all.

What are you trying to add to your faith to make you feel acceptable and "right" to God? Do you beat yourself up every time you make a mistake or drop the ball? Maybe you're adding perfectionism to your faith.

Do you give and give until you're a ball of nerves or a ragdoll on the floor no good to anyone? Maybe you've added service to your faith.

Should we spend time with God everyday? Yes. Should we serve? Yes. Should we do our best at what we've been called to do? Yes.

But should we be looking to those things to convince ourselves that we are right in the eyes of God and have his favor because of them? No.

You will mess up. You will have days or seasons when you simply cannot give. Are you going to come down on yourself and doubt your righteousness? Are you going to start looking for ways to prove to God that you are worthy of His love? Do not fall for the lie!! If you have believed on Jesus, you are okay with God. You are still accepted, loved, and deeply cherished.

His love is not conditional.

Ladies, we do not have to earn our acceptance. We do not have to prove our worth. All we must do is believe. Believe that you need Jesus and trust Him with your life. You do that, and you're golden. Stop trying to justify yourself; it's not your job. That job has already been done by the only One qualified to do it.

Accept it. Receive it. Rest in it.

Oh, Jesus, we admit that we like to try to earn your love and grace. We confess that to you today and ask your forgiveness. You died on that cross so we didn't have to be "good enough" and we are claiming today that Your sacrifice was enough. We will stop trying to add to it. We love you, Amen.

I'm Back!

Well, Coop is now in kindergarten (more on that later), so now I am entering into a new season of life. And it is my intent to get back to blogging on a more regular basis. But, since many of you know how easily I get overwhelmed, I am not forcing myself to have a full blog right off the bat. So, in an effort to ease myself back into writing/blogging, I'm just posting a nice, succinct quote today. If you want to comment, feel free. Love you, girls!

"When it comes to crises or events that really upset us, this I have learned: you can have God or you can have understanding. Sometimes you can have both." ~John Eldredge, Walking With God

Talk amongst yourselves...

Fact or Feeling?

Hey, sista friends! I've missed y'all so much in this time off I've taken. Just so you know, I still love to blog, but haven't been able to find the time to devote to it. I pray about it often and ask that when God wants me to post, He'll give me the time and direction. This is the first time that has happened since the end of October. Cooper is at home sick today and is napping, which he never does, so here I sit with you. I pray that God would speak through me today straight into your heart. I love you all so much.

Earlier this week I was talking with one of my girls that is home from college, and during our conversation God really hammered a truth into my heart. I've been mulling over this particular truth in my mind for some time, but in listening to my sweet friend's heart, it seemed to come alive to me. And here it is:

I think, as women, our biggest battle is to believe truth over our emotions.

God has given us a gift to be filled with love, to be able to celebrate with the jubilant, or to hurt with those who are in pain. But, often those same emotions lead us to mistake lust for love, or to participate in something simply because it feels good, or to assume false guilt for something that we have no responsibility for. For instance, how many moms out there are watching their child walk in rebellion and wondering what they did to cause it because it feels like it must be their fault? Or how many are looking back on a mistake they made and beating themselves into the ground for it because they feel ashamed?

Better yet, how many of us are looking at our lives, our daily circumstances, our spouses, our finances, our school load, or even ourselves and thinking it's all too much for us to handle simply because it feels that way?

"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" Jeremiah 17:9


The heart, the point of origin for all our feelings and emotions, is described by God as "deceitful above all things". What does this mean for us? For me, it means not believing everything I feel. Just because a thought or feeling comes into my head or tries to land on my heart, doesn't mean it's true! I must weigh everything I feel on the scale of God's word. I'm going to list some of the lies I'm most vulnerable to believe as an aid for you to identify yours.

-I'm a bad mother because I'm sometimes impatient or dismissive with Cooper.
-I am a horrible wife because... (the list is endless here).
-My past experiences render me useless and dirty...no real use in the kingdom of God.
-I'll never get over my struggles. I'll forever be in bondage, not living the full life God intends for me.
-I can't do it.
-God won't do it.
-God doesn't care about me.
-God won't protect my family.
-I need to control everything for all to be okay.
-I must be perfect.

Lies, lies, lies!!!!!!!!!!!!

What would my life look like if I walked around everyday blindly believing such utter falsehood? I can tell you because I still have times that I do it. I would be down, discouraged, stressed out, untrusting, and faithless. My life would be characterized by recurring failure instead of consistent victory. So you may be saying, "Great, Misti. Now what? What am I supposed to do with these overwhelming feelings I have?"

I'm not saying that you shouldn't have feelings; I'm simply saying that they need to be put behind truth. Truth needs to be leading the way, not your feelings. And in order for truth to take it's proper place as the head, it needs to be chosen. Like so much in our walk with Jesus, it starts with a choice. You must choose to believe fact over feeling. For instance, even though sometimes I feel like a failure and like my past and weaknesses render me useless, I must choose to believe that I have been forgiven and made white as snow (Isa. 1:18) and that God is proven strong through my weaknesses (2Cor. 12:9). When I'm tempted to believe that I can't do it, that God won't get me to this continually victorious life, I have to choose to believe that He who started a good work in me will complete it (Php. 1:6). And when I feel like God doesn't love me, I choose to remember the Father sending His only Son as a sacrifice for me. I remember the torture and death that Jesus endured for me and my lie is eclipsed by the truth of His scandalous love. Then, the choice is mine. Will I dismiss the truth to wallow in my own misery, or turn and be renewed, strengthened, and changed by the truth? I either trust God or trust my emotions.

I know that this choice is difficult. We women are emotional people, but, we need to tell our emotions what to do, not the other way around. If you don't know what lies you're believing and walking in, ask God. Once you ask, He is faithful to tell you. Then, find some scripture to combat those lies. Keep saying those verses with your head until your heart and emotions follow.

Ladies, don't take this lightly. Stand up and fight for your victory and peace. Your God is doing His part; now, do yours. I love you.