Holy Moses! Part 1

This week, I’ve been thinking quite a bit about Moses. Not necessarily about him leading his people out of Egypt or orchestrating a mid-ocean, dry land trek, but more about his life before he learned of his calling. He killed someone. He tried to cover it up. He ran for his life. Then, he found himself amongst a herd of sheep, spending hour after dreadfully boring hour leading his furry flock. Do you think he wondered if this was the only leadership he was meant for? Did he think that his past sins had rendered useless any gifts he may have had? It had been decades since he had done anything but tend sheep. I wonder if he had given up on any further aspirations.

When Moses encounters a shrub lit aflame by the very presence of God, his insecurities come center stage. God has chosen him for a mighty big job and He begins to reveal the plan for that job to Moses. And what is Moses’ reaction? “Who am I. . .?” Okay, I’ll give him this one. It sounds like good, God-centered humility. But he follows it up with, “What if they do not believe me?” and “I have never been eloquent. . .I am slow of speech” and the one that finally earns God’s anger, “O Lord, please send someone else to do it.” I don’t know about you, but I’ve been there. I can’t count the number of times I’ve felt the Lord ask me to do something and I’ve answered with excuse after excuse. And like Moses, many of them were rooted in insecurity linked to past experience or sin.

When Moses reacted to his calling with, “What if they do not believe me or listen to me?” I’m thinking he might have been remembering the last experience he had with the Hebrews. They had confronted him with his sin and he had run. Maybe he thought that he had lost any sort of respect among them. God’s response to his question is curious. God answers Moses’ question with one of His own. “What is that in your hand?” I can picture Moses glancing at his hand and saying flatly, “Uh. A staff.” The rest of the dialogue I will present verbatim so that you can picture it yourself.

“A staff, “ he replied. The LORD said, “Throw it on the ground.” Moses threw it on the ground and it became a snake and he ran from it. Then the LORD said to him, “Reach out your hand and take it by the tail.” So Moses reached out and took hold of the snake and it turned back into a staff in his hand. “This,” said the LORD, “is so that they may believe that the LORD the God of their fathers—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob—has appeared to you.” Exodus 4: 2-5

Why did Moses have a staff? Because he was a shepherd. And why was he a shepherd? It was the career he had taken up as he was running from a sinful past. Funny, the staff that he acquired as a direct result of his past sin became the object that God used to glorify Himself. How many times have we ruminated on and regretted our pasts as God was saying to us, “Child, you are forgiven of all of that. And I’m going to use it for My glory!” The former events and actions that cause us pain to remember are the very ones that God wants to use to show the world how loving and powerful He is.

He wants to use what we are running from.

Interestingly, Moses’ staff was later referred to as “the staff of God”. It was wholly surrendered to God and used to split the sea, bring water from a rock, and produce a prayer-induced battle victory for Israel. What if Moses would have let his insecurity keep him from doing what God had asked him to do? Amongst a myriad of other possibilities, he would have missed out of being one of the most powerful and effective leaders of the Christian faith. He led a nation out of slavery. An entire nation.

How is God wanting to use your past to affect the world around you? To get you thinking, I’ll give you one example from my life. He is using my past college-aged rebellion to fuel a passion to pour into high school kids. I want to equip these girls for the faith-challenging life they will enter upon stepping foot on a college campus so that they don’t do what I did. What is it for you? What pain will you let God turn into ministry? You may not lead a whole nation out of slavery, but you’ll surely help bring about freedom in your friends, families, and coworkers. And, who knows? Maybe leading a nation is in your future. . .after all, nothing is impossible for God.

I have more thoughts on Moses, but I’ll save them for next week. Can’t wait! Love ya’, girls!

Father, thank you that you work everything for the good of those who love you. Thank you that we don’t have to be bogged down with guilt over our pasts. Help us to accept your forgiveness and be vulnerable enough to let you use our former failures for your glory. We love you. Amen

Eyes to Yourself

“We have different gifts, according to the grace given us.” Romans 12:6

This year I have had the pleasure of watching one of our new girl leaders form friendships with some senior girls in our club. It is the coolest thing. As soon as these girls arrive at any event, you can almost see their “Christie Radars” go up. They are all on the lookout for her. And as soon as they find her, they are stuck fast. It’s almost as if no one else exists; she is all that matters. And they think that every word that comes out of her mouth is the funniest thing they have ever heard. At winter camp this year, they laughed for 10 minutes straight when she quoted a Bible verse. Who knew holy writ could be so side-splitting? I still don’t know what was so funny. And every idea she has is the best idea ever spoken aloud. She could tell them to run as fast as they can into a brick wall and they would do it. They are enamored. And she is just as taken with them. Watching God do a work in all of their hearts through these blossoming relationships is amazing.

Still, periodically, I have to check my pride at the door. I find myself thinking, “Why don’t they like me as much as her?” or “They don’t even know I’m here.” Well, the truth is, they DO like her more and they are probably only slightly aware that I’m around (I refuse to believe that I go completely unnoticed). But, so what? Who cares who they like more! At these times, I have to ask myself new questions: “Am I living this life for myself or for God? Is it all about me or all about Him?”

The truth is, as funny and attractive as Christie is, the bond that is forming between her and those seniors is a God thing. He has provided her with particular personality traits and life experiences that draw those girls to her. And He is using those to bring the girls into a closer relationship with Him. Again, it is about Him.

What God has done in Christie, He is doing in all of us. He has given us particular gifts and life events to equip us to do the job He has for us to do. In Ephesians 2:10, Paul tells us that God has works, good works, for us to do that He already has prepared. He has a specific mission for you. One that He has specially built, molded, and pruned you for. It’s the perfect job. But so often, we miss out on our job because we are too busy lamenting the fact that we don’t have so-and-so’s gifts. “She’s prays aloud so much better than I.” Or “Wow, what a great teacher. I wish I could teach like that.” Or “Maybe they like her better because she’s so funny. I should try to be funny.” Oh, was that last one just for me?

It comes down to this. God has a plan for the world around us and each of us plays a special, specific part in it. Are we going to live out our role and find fulfillment in accomplishing our purpose for being on this earth, or are we going to whine about not having someone else’s job and live our lives in jealous bitterness? I’m speaking to myself here. Let’s get our eyes off of each other and trust God enough to give our own purpose a try. You never know; you might just like your job better anyway. It’s what God made you for, after all!

Father, we confess that we are guilty of comparing ourselves to your other children. We are sorry and thank you for your patience and forgiveness for us in this area. Thank you that you love us each enough to invite us to be a part of what you’re doing on this earth. Help us not to miss our callings because our eyes are focused on the wrong targets. We love you, Amen.

Hold On, Sister!

“Sweet little babies, it’s hard to understand it ‘cause we’re hurting
We are hurting
But there is healing
And we know we’re stronger people through the growing
And in knowing—
That all things work together for our good
And God works His purposes just like He said He would…
Just like He said He would…”
--“Glory Baby” by Watermark

A dear friend gave me the song above to listen to because it reminded her of our first child. Gabriela Faith is my sweet daughter who was stillborn on November 15, 2002. Although I know she is in Heaven and has escaped the pains and trials of this earth, up until very recently, that did very little to comfort me. To be honest with you, the sentiments expressed in the song above not only did not soothe me; they enraged me. I didn’t really believe that healing would come, and I wasn’t so sure God knew what He was doing when He let her slip away. His purposes seemed cruel and beyond any kind of reason.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

After Gabi passed away, I took a long journey through deep depression and fear. The darkest and scariest time in my life to date. As the months turned into years, I began to wonder if I would ever be happy. Healed. Whole. This past year marked the 5th anniversary of her death, and upon reflecting on her life, I realized that I had finally found some joy. Lots of it. My life is now characterized by passion for the Lord, for the life He has given me, and for what He is doing in the world around me. What had happened? What had changed me from a broken woman despairing of life to this gal lit aflame for the Lord?

I had hung on to Jesus for dear life. All I could see in my darkness was His hand gently pulling me forward, and I held on purely out of desperation. I tucked Psalm 119:45 deep into my heart as my promise. “I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought His precepts.” I had to believe that someday I would conquer the pain. Most of the time it wasn’t easy. Many times it was the most challenging thing I had ever done. But I had no choice. Either I hold on to Jesus or give up on life.

I suspect that I’ll never know the full extent of what God has done through Gabi’s life, but He has been so gracious as to show me the miracles that He has performed in me through her.

Chiefly, he has given me REAL joy, peace, and hope. What I had before Gabi was fake. It was what I could muster up within myself. God taught me through my new lack of self-sufficiency that He was the true Source of those qualities. Also, I did not know it, but I had become distant and somewhat unsympathetic to those around me because of my reaction to some experiences in my past. In having to let people help me, I learned to let them in and continue to learn how to love them well. By the way, this is still a work in progress! But, one of the coolest things that Gabi accomplished was God giving me my calling through her. In being stripped of all my pretenses and facades, I found freedom in simply being me. In being real. And God has ignited a passion in me to help other women find that same liberty. Simply put, He has given me all the things He has promised He would. Joy. Peace. Hope. Love. Purpose.

My life before the birth of my sweet daughter pales in comparison to the one I’m living now. Ladies, let’s hold on. Let’s trust God and His plan. It may be painful, and it may be the hardest thing we ever do, but can we hold on long enough to see God fulfill the promises He’s made to us? His word says that all His ways are faithful and loving towards us and that He’s working out everything for our good. Let’s choose to trust that and stick it out to see the miracles He performs.

“He has sent me to. . .bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.” Isaiah 61:1-3

Memory Verse: Romans 12:12 “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer.”

God, thank you that you found enough worth in me to love me out of my imprisonment. Thank you for Gabi…please give her a big hug and “thank you” for me. It warms my heart to know that she accomplished her purpose in this life. Father, help us to hold on and trust you and your goodness. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Intentional Living

“These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Deut. 6:6-7

This morning I spent an hour putting together a rough daily schedule for my family and me. You see, I have been frazzled with so many things vying for my time and attention that I decided it was time to sit down and figure out exactly what I’m supposed to be doing with myself everyday. Am I supposed to be pouring into our ministry leaders? Into the high school folks? If I’m working when Cooper is in school, when am I to write? I really have a heart for women. . . what am I supposed to be doing with that? So many questions. As I began to bring my queries to God, He reminded me of what He said to us last week. Relationships. It’s all about relationships. People. And the priority people He has given me to nurture are living right underneath this roof.

As I stared down at what I had already sketched, I realized that I had our ministry days marked down, church diligently recorded, and our day of rest set aside, but there was nothing designated—preserved—for the two most important people in my life. Yes, I had our Little Gym and library days noted, but nothing planned for real family connection. There were plenty of events for us to DO, but nothing that just allowed us to BE together. It got me thinking, “Am I living my priorities or am I just saying I have some?”

Recently, I was listening to Bible teacher Beth Moore speak about believing God to get us to our lives of victory. I love what she expressed. “Nobody goes to their place of promise accidentally. We must be intentional.” She planted a seed in my mind that God watered and made sprout this morning. I realized that if I was going to live according to my priorities I was going to need to be intentional. If I want to raise a godly son who knows he is cherished and loved by the Lord and his parents, I need to make sure that I’m not letting anything impede my communication of that love. If I want him to come to know and love the Word, I must teach it to him. If I desire for him to learn to pray, I should be setting that example. In Deuteronomy, God informs us that as parents, we are the primary teachers of our children. We are to be spending as much time as we can processing life through the filter of God’s commandments with our children. How can they learn to live a Christ-centered life if we have not taught and modeled it before them?

And am I being intentional with my husband? We’ve all heard 1 Cor. 13:4-8 at every wedding we’ve ever been to. “Love is patient. Love is kind…” This speaks of intention. I can’t be patient or kind, let alone all the other qualities listed in these verses, without aforethought. It doesn’t come naturally. I must work at it. It must be deliberate.

What are your priorities? Are you scheduling your life to fit them or are they being pushed aside for less crucial obligations? Maybe it starts with simply sitting down and letting God show you what needs to be on the schedule and what doesn’t. For me, it was cutting out high school sports events and adding a weekly family night and bi-weekly date night. Ask God what He wants you to be doing and then trust Him to help you rearrange your agenda. Make a plan. Stick to it. Learn to say no when you’re asked to do something that will distract you from what is most important. Live your life intentionally. Don’t let your life live you.

Father, thank you for gently rattling our cages. For waking us out of our slumber. We ask that you would show us where you want us spending our time and that you would help us to be obedient when you do. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

The Pursuit of People

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:24-25

As some of you know because I saw you there, I have just returned from spending an invigorating week in Florida with other Young Life staff and their spouses from around the globe. Lou and I always look forward to these trips because it gives us time away from the stress at home, an opportunity to spend time together, and a day at DISNEY WORLD! This year we couldn’t wait to experience the little slice of iconic American culture that is the land of Mickey. I’m not ashamed to say that I love that place. Yes, even the It’s a Small World ride. Side note: did you know that they’ve placed new animatronic Jack Sparrows into the Pirates of the Caribbean ride? I missed a good portion of the detailed scenes around him because I was staring at him trying to figure out if it was an actor or a machine. We had to ride it twice to catch all the minutiae I missed the first time around. Anyway…

In the days leading up to our trip, I was so focused on going to Disney and busy speculating on what I would bring home for my son, that I forgot that my favorite part of our time there, really, is catching up with friends. We encountered old buddies that we hadn’t seen since the last get-together four years ago and spent time with pals who we just aren’t able to experience day-to-day life with anymore. It was a time of connection and encouragement. And it was rich. Life-giving.

On the last day of the conference, I became somber knowing that we would be returning to real life. Don’t get me wrong, I love our life, my ministry, and am honored to stay home to mother the greatest son in the world, but I realized that we would be entering back into a world where precious few friends surround us. I would miss the constant love and uplifting that we experienced in Orlando. Reflecting on the past 5 days saddened me but made me extremely grateful for this second family God has given us, no matter how far we are from one another.

Ladies, we need our friends. You may be surrounded with a large group of like-minded gal pals, or you may be like me, struggling to make new connections. Regardless, we need to be pursuing authentic friendships. The first night of the conference a friend and I stayed up until 1:30 talking about life, love and how God plays into it all. I didn’t realize how badly I needed that sort of connection until that moment. There is a reason we want friends surrounding us during important times in our lives like birthdays, weddings, and funerals. We were made for relationship. God gave us a longing for connection. Connection with Him and connection with those around us. In the gospel of Mark, God not only instructs us to love Him with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength, but to love others as well. He says that these are the two greatest commandments (vs. 29-31). And they are both about relationship.

Are you pursuing people? Or are you like me, putting off relationships, falling for the world’s trappings of busyness and solitude? Girls, we need one another; it’s as simple as that. Let’s learn how to share our world with those around us and in so doing, find the support and encouragement that God longs for us to experience. In experiencing each other, we often experience God. Let’s not miss it!

Memory verse: Galatians 6:2 Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Father, thank you for the longing for people you’ve placed in our hearts. Help us to be intentional about forming and sustaining lasting, Christ-centered relationships. Knowing and investing in others allows us to experience you in a new and different way. Help us to open ourselves up to it. We love You. Amen.

What's On Your Mind?

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

I’ve been watching my husband today diligently doing our laundry. Yes, you read it right. Laundry. Lou is the one in this home who cleans and folds our clothes. However, we’ve had to get new wardrobes since he’s taken over this household chore. I recently discovered that he was washing many loads in warm or hot water and drying them on high heat. He figured, the higher the heat, the cleaner the shirt and the faster the dry. Although he might have been correct, faster also means smaller. And since half-shirts haven’t been in style since the 1980’s, I’m now considering passing along many of my tops to my 6-year-old neighbors. Thankfully, after some discussion, we’ve since gotten the process figured out and Lou can now be trusted with our garments. However, our clothes paid the price. And so did he.

I am, by nature, a critical person. I can gaze at my reflection in the mirror and find every imperfection (real or imagined) in lightning speed. Unfortunately, that critical eye has also been directed at my husband for the majority of our marriage, up until very recently, in fact. Instead of seeing a man who was trying to please me and help me with home duties, all I saw was a man who ruined my clothing. I chastised him, criticizing him for not knowing that colors are washed in cold and that you don’t dry anything on hot but towels and sheets! And I’m sad to say, my critiques did not stop there, nor have they ever. I have a history of passing judgment on everything from his appearance to the way he does his job (ridiculous, I know). I’m not proud of the way I’ve behaved. And, thankfully, God has been persistent and faithful to deal with this relationship-crippling tendency in me.

This past year, God made me aware that so much of the defeat that I’ve experienced in my life, whether it be in my marriage or out of it, is seeded in the way that I think. I have a knack for picking out a flaw in myself or Lou and rehearsing it ad nauseam, most times making it into something much worse than it really is. Because of this inclination, both Lou and I were struggling to find fulfillment in this marriage. Not only that, I was finding it difficult to find true pleasure in any facet of my life. I was always seeing the negative side or thinking of all the bad that could happen. I began to ask myself, “What is wrong with me? Why can’t I love Lou the way he deserves to be loved? Why don’t I want to spend time with my husband? Why am I always fighting against being down?” And God said something along the lines of, “Because, child, you are thinking on the wrong things.”

Instead of dwelling on what is wrong with our spouses, our children, or ourselves, God instructs us to think on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. In the original language here, to “think about” means to reckon, count over and pass to one’s account. We are called to reckon, count over, and pass to one’s account their true, noble, right, pure, lovely and admirable qualities. We are called to count up ours as well. And we are not only told to count them up, but the original word also speaks of occupying ourselves with doing so. Instead of wasting our time dwelling on flaws, God wants us to expend our mental energies on recalling excellent qualities that He has implanted in every one of us.

I can choose to think about how I was faced again with an old sin yesterday, or I can choose to think about how far God has brought me in my fight against it. I can choose to think about how frustrated I am that my son is pushing boundaries, or I can choose to reflect upon how he is extremely loving, obedient most of the time, and is just in the midst of a healthy phase. I can choose to ruminate on the clothes that I’ve lost in the laundry fiasco, or I can choose to meditate on how my husband loves me deeply and is intentional in trying to share my workload.

We must choose our thoughts. I have gone so far as to make Philippians 4:8 my life verse for 2008. It is that important. I have noticed a significant difference in my life since I have begun the practice of concentrating on our gifts instead of our flaws. No longer do I walk around under a dark cloud. I am falling more in love with my husband and with this life that God has given me to live.

Are you looking for some joy? Think about what you’re thinking about.

Memory Verse: Philippians 4:8

Father, thank You, that even in the midst of flaws and imperfections, You have given us praiseworthy qualities as well. Instead of being overwhelmed with our own faults or consumed with criticizing others’, help us to be of somber judgment: to love ourselves and others in truth. In Christ’s name, amen.

RECOVERY!!

Hello all! I hope your holidays were peaceful and rich. As for mine...I'm still recovering, so I will not be posting tonight. I'll be back on track next week. I'll actually be posting on Sunday the 6th instead of Tuesday the 8th because I will be out of state for Young Life on the 8th. I continue to be so thankful for all of you and your support. I'll "talk" to you next week.

Grateful for You,
Misti

The Perfection Infection

*This week is a little different. An editor for a ladies' Christian magazine has asked to see an article from me. I'm sending in the following piece. Let me know what you think. Also, I will be taking next week off since it is Christmas. I pray that your time with your family is Christ-centered and full of joy. Thanks for reading!*

Do you have that friend who can confront you on an ugly truth about yourself but leave you feeling like you’ve been embraced instead of slapped silly? Thankfully, I only have a few who are willing to try. Kathryn is one of those friends. We have known each other since age thirteen, so she has seen almost every facet of my personality. However, last year she became privy to a side of me that I have managed to hide pretty successfully because it is mostly an internal thing: my incessant need to be perfect. She became my boss, poor thing. She hired me to “teach” 2-year-olds. If she only knew what she had gotten herself into. Now, I adore tiny tots as much as the next gal, but to be the one solely responsible for their physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being? Eek! Every week they must review their alphabet, numbers and colors. They must craft, color and learn to play well with their classmates. They must be taught to sit where they’re told and to nap in the middle of the room on their mats. What? They’re two! They must be disciplined consistently but also loved and cherished. Oh, yes, and most importantly, they must learn about Jesus and give their hearts to Him by the end of the year. Okay, that last one is a lie.

Interestingly, Kathryn never told me every one of the requirements needed to be met every week. In fact, she specifically told me, “Toddlers are tough. Just do what you can. No pressure.” Where I got the idea that every single activity must be done and done at a Martha Stewart level, I do not know.

After a morning of watching me rush around the preschool building huffing and puffing because I couldn’t get the craft ready in time or the room prepared, she pulled me aside. How dare her? Couldn’t she see I was running behind? Anyway, I digress.

“Misti, relax! When did you become such a perfectionist and so hard on yourself? In high school I admired you because you were so confident. What happened to you?”

I didn’t have an answer. What had happened? When did it become okay to expect perfection from myself? As I sat and pondered that question, I realized that this Perfection Infection had invaded every part of my life like a cancer run amuck. I realized that I only feel “good enough” if I’m the mom who never yells at her little one, the employee who never makes a mistake in judgment, the daughter who never disappoints, and the wife that keeps a perfectly spotless house, has dinner on the table every night, and is always in the mood. Hadn’t I read something about all sinning and falling short of the glory of God? Wasn’t I expected to be weak since God clearly says that when we are weak He is strong, thus making it apparent that I will have weaknesses (2 Cor. 12:9)? Yet, here I am, descending into meltdown mode because I didn’t get the toys disinfected before the kids arrived.

And I see that I’m not the only one with this debilitating condition. As the wife of a youth minister, I get the privilege of forming relationships with women of all ages. Not only do I get to hang out with girls in their teens, but I get the opportunity to become friendly with their moms and sisters as well. And I witness the same tendencies in all of us, age 14 to 60. We are all unmercifully beating ourselves up for the tiniest missteps. The younger ones are shredding themselves to pieces because they asked someone a “stupid” question, and the older ones are doing the same because they can’t meet every need of every person in their families. Girls, we are not meant to live this way! We were never meant to strive to find perfection. We are not meant to try, try, and try again to reach unattainable goals of flawlessness—to only find peace when we make no mistakes. Amazingly, in Christ, we are enough.

You are enough.

God is clear. You are the apple of His eye (Zec. 2:8), the display of his splendor (Isa. 61:3), very good (Gen. 1:31), forgiven (Ps. 103:12), favored (Ps. 5:12) an object of his rejoicing (Zeph. 3:17). Surely, if I am the apple of God’s eye, I am special and valued. Surely, if God says I am very good then I am good enough. Surely, if God says I am forgiven, I can forgive myself.

I’ve had to come to the conclusion that I will never get it together completely. I will continue to make mistakes, but I do not embody them. Yes, I’m going to sometimes give my husband attitude; my patience will run low with my stop and smell the roses 3-year-old, and I will never know all the answers to all the questions my teens will ask. But I will choose not to “snowball” into thinking I’m a horrible wife, the worst mother in all of America, or an imbecile who shouldn’t be teaching the youth of this world anything. Although I know this territory quite well, journeying down that familiar road is not an option.

Finding our peace with our limited selves is all about choice. Will we believe the lie that we must be good enough to be genuinely loved? Or will we choose to trust the truth that weaves itself through Scripture from Genesis to Revelation: that we are fully forgiven and scandalously loved despite our imperfections? It is a choice. We decide either to remain in our spiritual sickbed or resolve to rise and be healed. Believe. Choose to believe. That is where your healing is.

You are loved and you are enough simply because you are His.

Father, thank You that You love us dearly in the midst of all of our weaknesses. And thank You that You promise to meet us where we are, love us richly, and tenderly mold us into the women You desire us to be. Help us to be cooperative and believe what You're saying and walk in Your truth. We love You. Amen.

Remember Me

**I realize that the last two posts have been pretty long, so this one is shortened up quite a bit. I pray God speaks to you. Thanks for reading!**

“to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.” Jude 25

As most of you know, we moved to Rockwall, Texas a little over four months ago. I remember when we first crossed that short bridge over Lake Ray Hubbard into the tiny little town. We were instantly enamored. Being from one of the biggest cities in the nation, the charm of small town life and the view of the lake at sunset sold us immediately. Never had I seen more vibrant oranges, pinks and purples woven into such a tapestry of beauty. We couldn’t wait to pack up and move into our little condo next to the lake. Much of the first couple of months here we spent simply walking or sitting out by the water. I couldn’t get enough. I just wanted to drink in every little drop of that scenery.

Interestingly, last week I was hurrying down the main street in our community that runs parallel to the lake (yes, there is ONE central drag...I love it). I happened to glance to my right and caught a glimpse of the water. It was sunset and it was just as beautiful as it had been in August. However, I realized that it had been quite a long time since I had really taken the time to soak in its beauty. I had begun to take it for granted and the grandeur of the landscape had lost its impact on me. I saw it so often that it was just another part of the town at that point.

It prompted me to ask whether this mirrors my reaction to God at times. Is this the way we respond when we hear the Christmas story every year? Yes, we know that Jesus was born in Bethlehem, placed in a manger because there was no room in the inn, visited by wisemen, shepherds, and sheep, and was the Son of Mary and Joseph. But is that all it’s become to us? Has it become so familiar that it is just another story that we hear at this time of year? I have to confess, sometimes that’s exactly what it is to me. I forget that Jesus left behind the warmth and comfort of Heaven to enter into our cold, dark, and painful world. He was placed in a lowly manger, giving up his rightful throne at the right hand of the Father. I fail to remember that he was born to a fleshly, sinful woman. He gave up the splendor of Heaven to reach out to me. Jesus-God in the Flesh-took drastic measures to save me.

To save you.

Have we forgotten the magnitude of that? He could have sat stationary on that throne and let us fester in our own filth and shame. We deserve it. But in His unfailing love and tenderness, He chose to humble Himself. To sacrifice Himself and His comforts for us.

We know the entire story. We know how it ends, but can we focus on the beginning for right now? We were guilty. We deserved hell. But Jesus would not have it. He rose off that throne, filled with compassion, determined to save His creation, and descended on a condemned world. This Christmas season let’s determine to fix our eyes on Jesus and the wonder of what He did and continues to do for us. For He not only lived on this earth in the flesh; He continues to live amongst us as He lives in our hearts. Inconceivable!

Father, help us to never forget the magnitude of what Your Son did for us. Empower us to live our lives as a thanks offering to You. Thank you, thank you for Your sacrifice. We love you. Amen.

Memory Verse: Romans 5:1 "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,”

The Masquerade Ball

I truly believe that in our church today we have a problem with lying. Maybe we aren’t walking around with bold-faced whoppers falling off our tongues, but how many times have we answered the question “How are you?” with “Great! You?” while our hearts are breaking inside over an issue at home? Why do we feel that we must walk into church or into any other meeting with other women with all of our ducks in a row, neatly put together, mask in place? I’m not talking about spilling our guts to everyone we come across, but can we get a little honesty please? A little vulnerability?

I lived most of my life behind a mask. Oh, I never kept the same one for long, but I always had one firmly affixed. In high school, I wore the successful, fun, full-of-joy mask. In college and my early twenty’s, the intimidating, crass, I-am-woman-hear-me-roar mask. Later, I replaced that with the put-together, righteous Christian mask. You know the problem with those masks? In high school, I was hurting; I wasn’t full of joy. In college, I felt lost and defeated, far from powerful. And when I wore that pretty, put-together Christian mask was when I was the most broken. Yet, no one knew the truth. Behind the mask I was alone. And I was tired.

The Mess of Masks

The Upkeep
If we’re going to keep that glossy veneer shining, it’s going to take some work! I’m going to need to stuff my “stuff”. Subconsciously, it sounds something like this: "I can’t let anyone see what’s really going on, what I’m really thinking, my real pains! Don’t dare ask me about the very issue that’s caused me to put my mask on in the first place. I might break. One tear and the floodgates might open. I can’t have that! I’m good. I’m alright. Okay, I’m not, but nobody needs to know that. My business is my business and I just don’t want to think about or deal with my needs. I will do whatever it takes to keep you from seeing behind the ruse."

Ugh. . .exhausting! The constant, sheer volume of emotional energy exerted to maintain a façade of perfection while you’re crumbling inside is enough to crush you all by itself!

The Ball for One
You may have created a masquerade ball to attend; the problem is that you’re the only one invited. Living behind a mask is a lonely place. Nobody gets to know the real you, the genuine person you are. What they see is whatever you choose to put out there. The person they are getting to know is not the real you. And you know it. This breeds the lie, “If they knew the real me, they wouldn’t want to be around me.” You feel fake, misunderstood, and devastatingly alone.

The Contagiousness
When we decide that we’re going to camouflage our hurts with a disguise of perfection, it makes others believe we have it all together. And although we shouldn’t be comparing ourselves to others (another blog, another time), we do it. Consequently, when that woman who is going through a difficult time is looking for someone to sympathize with her and comfort her, all she sees is people who have no issues. She has no one to talk to because in her eyes, no one struggles like she does. In an effort to protect ourselves, we contribute to someone else’s pain.

The Host of the Ball

You know what I’m going to say. The one behind this entire ordeal, the one providing all the face gear, is the enemy. His words are ever the same:

• “Don’t let anyone in. They’ll hurt you.”
• “Don’t tell anyone that! It’s too embarrassing.“
• “Don’t blubber on. No one cares about you.”
• “You’re the only one with this issue. If you share it, they’re going to think you’re a freak. It’s better to keep it to yourself.”

The list goes on and on, but the feelings behind the words are the same: shame and a need for secrecy. Ladies, those are tell-tale signs that the enemy is at work. Don’t let him fool you! Stand up and refuse to let him talk you into a self-imposed prison!

I know that for many of us, we live behind masks because it is scary to think about letting people see inside. We have been hurt, ridiculed, and abandoned, but the walls that we are putting up around ourselves are not keeping us safe; they are keeping us imprisoned. In isolation. In loneliness.

The Most High Host

There is a gala for you to attend and you are the belle of the ball. It is a place where the Most High God provides the music. Zephaniah 3:17 says,

The Lord your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.

I know it’s frightening to let people in, but your God is a mighty God. He can handle that fear. Ask Him to help you be comfortable simply being you. It’s so freeing. He also takes great delight in you. He doesn’t just delight; He takes great delight in you. If someone else doesn’t necessarily take pleasure in you, could you be content with the God of the Universe being head over heals in love with you? Accepting that love will quiet that unease in you if you’ll let it. He is so in love, so enamored, so delighted with you that he rejoices in song over you! Unfathomable! Why should I care what others think if the Alpha and Omega thinks I’m so lovely that He can’t help but burst out in song? And you know the best thing? He knows every single, itty-bitty part of me, good and bad, and still thinks I’m great.

So, girls, do you think that we could start chipping away at that wall? Could we start letting people in and being honest about who we really are? Not only will we find rest from the work of the upkeep, but we will find peace within ourselves knowing that we are loved for our true selves and not some false image we have portrayed. There is freedom in simply being ourselves. And do you know the greatest benefit of all? In taking off our masks, Christ covers us with His image.

And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory,
are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing
glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
2 Cor. 3:18

How comforting to know that when I become vulnerable, when I stop the charade, Christ meets me there and covers my nakedness. What a gentleman.

Memory Verse: Zeph. 3:17

Father, thank You that we are fearfully and wonderfully made and that we were made on purpose and with purpose. Thank You that you love us, the true us, warts, bruises and all. We bring our masks to You and lay them on Your altar. Please consume them and cover us with Your love. Help us to be content with Your love and acceptance and to remember that to truly fulfill the calling You have for us, we will have to be ourselves. We love you, Jesus. It’s in Your name we pray, Amen.