A Good Place

Hey, gals. Well, what do you think of the new design? Do you not totally love this picture? And the name it was given by its capturer is perfect: Good Place. Can't you just imagine yourself coppin' a squat right there on that bench to simply take it all in? And don't you just feel the stillness and peace in your soul as you do so? Ah, yes, it is a good place to be. As I spent some time sifting through endless pictures, I chose this one because I think it captures in picture form the place we want to be. The place of tranquility, rest, and beauty.

If you'll take a closer look, you'll notice the view appears through a break in an ancient wall. This wall is a ruin from long ago in Israel. It used to be strong and high, and now it lies broken and conquered. And from behind the rubble: wide open spaces. But, ages ago, you could only catch glimpses of this view for the wall. Don't we feel like that much of the time? We long for intimacy with a family member but feel an unexplainable "wall" between us. We meet someone, strike up a conversation only to find they have their "walls up". We so desire a closer relationship with Christ, but there seems to be some sort of barrier there. We see glimpses of the fulfilling relationships that could be, but we can't seem to attain the fullness of them. What is going on?

This is the heart of this blog site, my heart for you and me. Addressing the walls, the barricades, that keep us from the full life with Christ and His people and then breaking through them. The one I'm most passionate about we've discussed before: being real. So much of our freedom comes in learning how to do this. Our society is feeding us the lie that we must be something that we are not. That we must fit into some pre-set, assembly line-type mold created by the pretty people. Who are these people anyway? The individuals who get to decide what is acceptable, beautiful, and good? I'd like to give them a swift kick to the...whoa. Calm down, Misti. Anyway, this incessant drive we have to try to fit into this cookie cutter image of a good wife, mom, employee, child, etc. is slowly (or quickly if you're me) driving us mad! It also leads to anxiety, depression, and self-condemnation. God created us to be exactly who we are. Listen as David speaks of God's heart:

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139: 13-14

Have you ever knitted? It's not easy, nor is it quick. It's a lengthy process that takes commitment, concentration, and tenderness. One Christmas we were too poor to buy presents for our extended family, so I decided that I would learn to knit and create scarves for them all. Yes, even my brother-in-law received one (but he lived in the Windy City so I reasoned that a scarf would be a perfect gift). I expended extensive energies picking out just the right color and kind of yarn for each neckwarmer. By the way, have you been down the yarn aisle at your local Hobby Lobby lately? It's insane how many different textures, widths, and colors they have come up with. The feathery ones are my fave. Anyway, they all turned out beautifully if I do say so myself, but none of them were the same. My mom's was purple and sophisticated because purple is her favorite color and she would be wearing it to work. However, my grandmother's was pink and fluffy. She LOVES pink and comfort is paramount for her 90-year-old neck. Then there was my brother-in-law's. . .green, yet masculine (no feathers for him). The list could go on because I made quite a few, but the point is that each was hand-tailored to suit its owner. It was well thought out and special. This is the effort exerted by your Daddy when He created you! He thought about every detail of your being, whether physical, mental, or emotional. He then set out to knit you together and upon completion decided that you were very good. (Gen. 1:31) There is a reason you are the way you are. If you're anything like me, you have difficulty accepting certain qualities you posess. It's hard to realize that you are different and that sometimes people don't take too kindly to it. However, we are not here to be approved by the people. We are here to please God.

"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." Gal. 1:10

You see, as long as we are trying to conform to and appease the individuals around us, we are stuck in a pursuit going nowhere, much like a hamster in an exercise wheel. People are fickle. One day you're in; the next you're out. Your only constant is the Lord your God. We'll find that in accepting and walking in who we are and pursuing only His pleasure, we will become the most effective servant for Him. And we will find ourselves sitting on that bench, looking out past the rubble of our former wall of self-condemnation into our wide open spaces of tranquility. A good place.

Daddy, thank you for your intention, your care, and your tenderness in creating us. Thank you that we are all unique and special to you. Help us to embrace who you've made us to be and to learn to love ourselves completely. Knock down our walls so that we may be free to look upon the fullness of your beauty. We love you desperately, amen.

A Short on Suffering

Hey, gals. This week is going to be more of a thought to ponder than a complete blog. I've been dealing with a toothache that culminated in a root canal today, so I'm somewhat under the weather. I pray that God would use the little I have to offer mightily no matter the word count! Bless you all!

"The apostles left the Sanhedrin [after being flogged], rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name." Acts 5:41

After I read this passage this morning, I was faced with my own tendency to balk and complain at any inconvenience, much less any suffering, that I must face in my life. I can't remember the last time I rejoiced at having a trial put before me. And I realize that many of our trials today aren't nearly as severe as the apostles', but they are still designed to glorify God in some way no matter how small. Think about it. Whatever you face that's difficult, it has the potential to mold you more into the image of God. It is an honor. As hard as it is, we should be thanking God for taking the time to deal individually with us. We have the reassurance that everything that God does in our lives derives from His heart of love towards us, so we can KNOW that our trials are for our good. Today as we go about our day and some sort of distraction or inconvenience pops up, let's have the mind to ask God what He's doing in it. Let's try to roll with what God is doing daily, in the small things instead of fighting against Him when things don't go our way.

Father, thank you for loving us enough as to be intimately involved in the little events and happenings of our days. Help us to work with you instead of against you. We love you, amen.

Holy Moses! Part 2

Hello again! Last week, we talked a little bit about Moses and his reaction to his past in the face of a big calling from God. I want to explore the moment God revealed Himself through Moses’ staff a tad more. If you’ll remember, we likened Moses’ shepherd’s staff to his former life of sin. Just as God used the staff to glorify Himself not only to Moses but later to the Hebrews and Egyptians, He wants to use our past sin to do the same in us and in our world. We asked the question, “How does God want to use your past to affect the world around you?” You might have noticed that in answering this question you were faced with the requirement of remembering some old wounds. In having to do so, you might have reacted like Moses did when God asked him to focus on his staff.

“The LORD said, ‘Throw it on the ground.’ Moses threw it on the ground and it became a snake, and he ran from it.” Ex. 4:3

Often, our first reaction when we are forced to think about old hurts and mistakes is to shut down the thought process and run from it. Who wants to brood over that stuff? Why bring intentional depression upon ourselves? The truth is we are not meant to feel eternally downcast when we rehearse our past; God desires for us to find healing from it. Check out what He says in Isaiah…I love it!!

“They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations.” Isa. 61:4

Yes, our ruins may be ancient, our hurts and mistakes haunting, but God desires restoration, not avoidance. There is a saying that goes, “You cannot heal what you do not acknowledge.” We must look it in the face, bring it to God and let Him heal it. This will look different for everyone. Depending on what’s looming in your past, counseling might benefit you. But, make sure that the good doctor is pointing you towards Christ. He is our only true Healer. Look what happened with Moses when God commanded him to deal with the snake.

“Then the LORD said to him, ‘Reach out your hand and take it by the tail.’ So Moses reached out and took hold of the snake and it turned back into a staff in his hand.” Ex. 4:4

No doubt the snake was frightening, but the truth was, in the presence of God, Moses had mastery over it! He grabbed that thing by the tail and put it in its rightful place: submission. The truth about your past is if you have Christ living in you, you have mastery over your former mistakes and pains! The enemy would love for you to believe the lie that you will never gain victory over them, but plainly and simply, that is a lie. God promises over and over in His word that when we seek Him, we will be healed and have victory and freedom. THAT is the truth. Choose to believe it.

We must come to the place where we decide that living behind prison doors of insecurity, discontent, or fear are no longer good enough. We are the people of God, the King of kings, and we WILL act like it. We will not run in fear from our pasts; we will stand, look them in the face, and just like Moses' snake, put them in their proper place of submission. We will trust that God knew what He was doing then and continues to be in control presently. The enemy has no right to stake any sort of claim over your life. You have already gained the victory. Now ask God to help you walk in it.

"I will walk about in victory for I have sought your precepts." Psalm 119:45

Father, thank you for your unmerited favor and freedom. Although you have made us free, it is sometimes so difficult to believe and live out. Help us. Thank you that you desire to heal us from past hurt and that no past is beyond your loving grasp. We love you.

Holy Moses! Part 1

This week, I’ve been thinking quite a bit about Moses. Not necessarily about him leading his people out of Egypt or orchestrating a mid-ocean, dry land trek, but more about his life before he learned of his calling. He killed someone. He tried to cover it up. He ran for his life. Then, he found himself amongst a herd of sheep, spending hour after dreadfully boring hour leading his furry flock. Do you think he wondered if this was the only leadership he was meant for? Did he think that his past sins had rendered useless any gifts he may have had? It had been decades since he had done anything but tend sheep. I wonder if he had given up on any further aspirations.

When Moses encounters a shrub lit aflame by the very presence of God, his insecurities come center stage. God has chosen him for a mighty big job and He begins to reveal the plan for that job to Moses. And what is Moses’ reaction? “Who am I. . .?” Okay, I’ll give him this one. It sounds like good, God-centered humility. But he follows it up with, “What if they do not believe me?” and “I have never been eloquent. . .I am slow of speech” and the one that finally earns God’s anger, “O Lord, please send someone else to do it.” I don’t know about you, but I’ve been there. I can’t count the number of times I’ve felt the Lord ask me to do something and I’ve answered with excuse after excuse. And like Moses, many of them were rooted in insecurity linked to past experience or sin.

When Moses reacted to his calling with, “What if they do not believe me or listen to me?” I’m thinking he might have been remembering the last experience he had with the Hebrews. They had confronted him with his sin and he had run. Maybe he thought that he had lost any sort of respect among them. God’s response to his question is curious. God answers Moses’ question with one of His own. “What is that in your hand?” I can picture Moses glancing at his hand and saying flatly, “Uh. A staff.” The rest of the dialogue I will present verbatim so that you can picture it yourself.

“A staff, “ he replied. The LORD said, “Throw it on the ground.” Moses threw it on the ground and it became a snake and he ran from it. Then the LORD said to him, “Reach out your hand and take it by the tail.” So Moses reached out and took hold of the snake and it turned back into a staff in his hand. “This,” said the LORD, “is so that they may believe that the LORD the God of their fathers—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob—has appeared to you.” Exodus 4: 2-5

Why did Moses have a staff? Because he was a shepherd. And why was he a shepherd? It was the career he had taken up as he was running from a sinful past. Funny, the staff that he acquired as a direct result of his past sin became the object that God used to glorify Himself. How many times have we ruminated on and regretted our pasts as God was saying to us, “Child, you are forgiven of all of that. And I’m going to use it for My glory!” The former events and actions that cause us pain to remember are the very ones that God wants to use to show the world how loving and powerful He is.

He wants to use what we are running from.

Interestingly, Moses’ staff was later referred to as “the staff of God”. It was wholly surrendered to God and used to split the sea, bring water from a rock, and produce a prayer-induced battle victory for Israel. What if Moses would have let his insecurity keep him from doing what God had asked him to do? Amongst a myriad of other possibilities, he would have missed out of being one of the most powerful and effective leaders of the Christian faith. He led a nation out of slavery. An entire nation.

How is God wanting to use your past to affect the world around you? To get you thinking, I’ll give you one example from my life. He is using my past college-aged rebellion to fuel a passion to pour into high school kids. I want to equip these girls for the faith-challenging life they will enter upon stepping foot on a college campus so that they don’t do what I did. What is it for you? What pain will you let God turn into ministry? You may not lead a whole nation out of slavery, but you’ll surely help bring about freedom in your friends, families, and coworkers. And, who knows? Maybe leading a nation is in your future. . .after all, nothing is impossible for God.

I have more thoughts on Moses, but I’ll save them for next week. Can’t wait! Love ya’, girls!

Father, thank you that you work everything for the good of those who love you. Thank you that we don’t have to be bogged down with guilt over our pasts. Help us to accept your forgiveness and be vulnerable enough to let you use our former failures for your glory. We love you. Amen

Eyes to Yourself

“We have different gifts, according to the grace given us.” Romans 12:6

This year I have had the pleasure of watching one of our new girl leaders form friendships with some senior girls in our club. It is the coolest thing. As soon as these girls arrive at any event, you can almost see their “Christie Radars” go up. They are all on the lookout for her. And as soon as they find her, they are stuck fast. It’s almost as if no one else exists; she is all that matters. And they think that every word that comes out of her mouth is the funniest thing they have ever heard. At winter camp this year, they laughed for 10 minutes straight when she quoted a Bible verse. Who knew holy writ could be so side-splitting? I still don’t know what was so funny. And every idea she has is the best idea ever spoken aloud. She could tell them to run as fast as they can into a brick wall and they would do it. They are enamored. And she is just as taken with them. Watching God do a work in all of their hearts through these blossoming relationships is amazing.

Still, periodically, I have to check my pride at the door. I find myself thinking, “Why don’t they like me as much as her?” or “They don’t even know I’m here.” Well, the truth is, they DO like her more and they are probably only slightly aware that I’m around (I refuse to believe that I go completely unnoticed). But, so what? Who cares who they like more! At these times, I have to ask myself new questions: “Am I living this life for myself or for God? Is it all about me or all about Him?”

The truth is, as funny and attractive as Christie is, the bond that is forming between her and those seniors is a God thing. He has provided her with particular personality traits and life experiences that draw those girls to her. And He is using those to bring the girls into a closer relationship with Him. Again, it is about Him.

What God has done in Christie, He is doing in all of us. He has given us particular gifts and life events to equip us to do the job He has for us to do. In Ephesians 2:10, Paul tells us that God has works, good works, for us to do that He already has prepared. He has a specific mission for you. One that He has specially built, molded, and pruned you for. It’s the perfect job. But so often, we miss out on our job because we are too busy lamenting the fact that we don’t have so-and-so’s gifts. “She’s prays aloud so much better than I.” Or “Wow, what a great teacher. I wish I could teach like that.” Or “Maybe they like her better because she’s so funny. I should try to be funny.” Oh, was that last one just for me?

It comes down to this. God has a plan for the world around us and each of us plays a special, specific part in it. Are we going to live out our role and find fulfillment in accomplishing our purpose for being on this earth, or are we going to whine about not having someone else’s job and live our lives in jealous bitterness? I’m speaking to myself here. Let’s get our eyes off of each other and trust God enough to give our own purpose a try. You never know; you might just like your job better anyway. It’s what God made you for, after all!

Father, we confess that we are guilty of comparing ourselves to your other children. We are sorry and thank you for your patience and forgiveness for us in this area. Thank you that you love us each enough to invite us to be a part of what you’re doing on this earth. Help us not to miss our callings because our eyes are focused on the wrong targets. We love you, Amen.

Hold On, Sister!

“Sweet little babies, it’s hard to understand it ‘cause we’re hurting
We are hurting
But there is healing
And we know we’re stronger people through the growing
And in knowing—
That all things work together for our good
And God works His purposes just like He said He would…
Just like He said He would…”
--“Glory Baby” by Watermark

A dear friend gave me the song above to listen to because it reminded her of our first child. Gabriela Faith is my sweet daughter who was stillborn on November 15, 2002. Although I know she is in Heaven and has escaped the pains and trials of this earth, up until very recently, that did very little to comfort me. To be honest with you, the sentiments expressed in the song above not only did not soothe me; they enraged me. I didn’t really believe that healing would come, and I wasn’t so sure God knew what He was doing when He let her slip away. His purposes seemed cruel and beyond any kind of reason.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

After Gabi passed away, I took a long journey through deep depression and fear. The darkest and scariest time in my life to date. As the months turned into years, I began to wonder if I would ever be happy. Healed. Whole. This past year marked the 5th anniversary of her death, and upon reflecting on her life, I realized that I had finally found some joy. Lots of it. My life is now characterized by passion for the Lord, for the life He has given me, and for what He is doing in the world around me. What had happened? What had changed me from a broken woman despairing of life to this gal lit aflame for the Lord?

I had hung on to Jesus for dear life. All I could see in my darkness was His hand gently pulling me forward, and I held on purely out of desperation. I tucked Psalm 119:45 deep into my heart as my promise. “I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought His precepts.” I had to believe that someday I would conquer the pain. Most of the time it wasn’t easy. Many times it was the most challenging thing I had ever done. But I had no choice. Either I hold on to Jesus or give up on life.

I suspect that I’ll never know the full extent of what God has done through Gabi’s life, but He has been so gracious as to show me the miracles that He has performed in me through her.

Chiefly, he has given me REAL joy, peace, and hope. What I had before Gabi was fake. It was what I could muster up within myself. God taught me through my new lack of self-sufficiency that He was the true Source of those qualities. Also, I did not know it, but I had become distant and somewhat unsympathetic to those around me because of my reaction to some experiences in my past. In having to let people help me, I learned to let them in and continue to learn how to love them well. By the way, this is still a work in progress! But, one of the coolest things that Gabi accomplished was God giving me my calling through her. In being stripped of all my pretenses and facades, I found freedom in simply being me. In being real. And God has ignited a passion in me to help other women find that same liberty. Simply put, He has given me all the things He has promised He would. Joy. Peace. Hope. Love. Purpose.

My life before the birth of my sweet daughter pales in comparison to the one I’m living now. Ladies, let’s hold on. Let’s trust God and His plan. It may be painful, and it may be the hardest thing we ever do, but can we hold on long enough to see God fulfill the promises He’s made to us? His word says that all His ways are faithful and loving towards us and that He’s working out everything for our good. Let’s choose to trust that and stick it out to see the miracles He performs.

“He has sent me to. . .bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.” Isaiah 61:1-3

Memory Verse: Romans 12:12 “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer.”

God, thank you that you found enough worth in me to love me out of my imprisonment. Thank you for Gabi…please give her a big hug and “thank you” for me. It warms my heart to know that she accomplished her purpose in this life. Father, help us to hold on and trust you and your goodness. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Intentional Living

“These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Deut. 6:6-7

This morning I spent an hour putting together a rough daily schedule for my family and me. You see, I have been frazzled with so many things vying for my time and attention that I decided it was time to sit down and figure out exactly what I’m supposed to be doing with myself everyday. Am I supposed to be pouring into our ministry leaders? Into the high school folks? If I’m working when Cooper is in school, when am I to write? I really have a heart for women. . . what am I supposed to be doing with that? So many questions. As I began to bring my queries to God, He reminded me of what He said to us last week. Relationships. It’s all about relationships. People. And the priority people He has given me to nurture are living right underneath this roof.

As I stared down at what I had already sketched, I realized that I had our ministry days marked down, church diligently recorded, and our day of rest set aside, but there was nothing designated—preserved—for the two most important people in my life. Yes, I had our Little Gym and library days noted, but nothing planned for real family connection. There were plenty of events for us to DO, but nothing that just allowed us to BE together. It got me thinking, “Am I living my priorities or am I just saying I have some?”

Recently, I was listening to Bible teacher Beth Moore speak about believing God to get us to our lives of victory. I love what she expressed. “Nobody goes to their place of promise accidentally. We must be intentional.” She planted a seed in my mind that God watered and made sprout this morning. I realized that if I was going to live according to my priorities I was going to need to be intentional. If I want to raise a godly son who knows he is cherished and loved by the Lord and his parents, I need to make sure that I’m not letting anything impede my communication of that love. If I want him to come to know and love the Word, I must teach it to him. If I desire for him to learn to pray, I should be setting that example. In Deuteronomy, God informs us that as parents, we are the primary teachers of our children. We are to be spending as much time as we can processing life through the filter of God’s commandments with our children. How can they learn to live a Christ-centered life if we have not taught and modeled it before them?

And am I being intentional with my husband? We’ve all heard 1 Cor. 13:4-8 at every wedding we’ve ever been to. “Love is patient. Love is kind…” This speaks of intention. I can’t be patient or kind, let alone all the other qualities listed in these verses, without aforethought. It doesn’t come naturally. I must work at it. It must be deliberate.

What are your priorities? Are you scheduling your life to fit them or are they being pushed aside for less crucial obligations? Maybe it starts with simply sitting down and letting God show you what needs to be on the schedule and what doesn’t. For me, it was cutting out high school sports events and adding a weekly family night and bi-weekly date night. Ask God what He wants you to be doing and then trust Him to help you rearrange your agenda. Make a plan. Stick to it. Learn to say no when you’re asked to do something that will distract you from what is most important. Live your life intentionally. Don’t let your life live you.

Father, thank you for gently rattling our cages. For waking us out of our slumber. We ask that you would show us where you want us spending our time and that you would help us to be obedient when you do. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

The Pursuit of People

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:24-25

As some of you know because I saw you there, I have just returned from spending an invigorating week in Florida with other Young Life staff and their spouses from around the globe. Lou and I always look forward to these trips because it gives us time away from the stress at home, an opportunity to spend time together, and a day at DISNEY WORLD! This year we couldn’t wait to experience the little slice of iconic American culture that is the land of Mickey. I’m not ashamed to say that I love that place. Yes, even the It’s a Small World ride. Side note: did you know that they’ve placed new animatronic Jack Sparrows into the Pirates of the Caribbean ride? I missed a good portion of the detailed scenes around him because I was staring at him trying to figure out if it was an actor or a machine. We had to ride it twice to catch all the minutiae I missed the first time around. Anyway…

In the days leading up to our trip, I was so focused on going to Disney and busy speculating on what I would bring home for my son, that I forgot that my favorite part of our time there, really, is catching up with friends. We encountered old buddies that we hadn’t seen since the last get-together four years ago and spent time with pals who we just aren’t able to experience day-to-day life with anymore. It was a time of connection and encouragement. And it was rich. Life-giving.

On the last day of the conference, I became somber knowing that we would be returning to real life. Don’t get me wrong, I love our life, my ministry, and am honored to stay home to mother the greatest son in the world, but I realized that we would be entering back into a world where precious few friends surround us. I would miss the constant love and uplifting that we experienced in Orlando. Reflecting on the past 5 days saddened me but made me extremely grateful for this second family God has given us, no matter how far we are from one another.

Ladies, we need our friends. You may be surrounded with a large group of like-minded gal pals, or you may be like me, struggling to make new connections. Regardless, we need to be pursuing authentic friendships. The first night of the conference a friend and I stayed up until 1:30 talking about life, love and how God plays into it all. I didn’t realize how badly I needed that sort of connection until that moment. There is a reason we want friends surrounding us during important times in our lives like birthdays, weddings, and funerals. We were made for relationship. God gave us a longing for connection. Connection with Him and connection with those around us. In the gospel of Mark, God not only instructs us to love Him with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength, but to love others as well. He says that these are the two greatest commandments (vs. 29-31). And they are both about relationship.

Are you pursuing people? Or are you like me, putting off relationships, falling for the world’s trappings of busyness and solitude? Girls, we need one another; it’s as simple as that. Let’s learn how to share our world with those around us and in so doing, find the support and encouragement that God longs for us to experience. In experiencing each other, we often experience God. Let’s not miss it!

Memory verse: Galatians 6:2 Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Father, thank you for the longing for people you’ve placed in our hearts. Help us to be intentional about forming and sustaining lasting, Christ-centered relationships. Knowing and investing in others allows us to experience you in a new and different way. Help us to open ourselves up to it. We love You. Amen.

What's On Your Mind?

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

I’ve been watching my husband today diligently doing our laundry. Yes, you read it right. Laundry. Lou is the one in this home who cleans and folds our clothes. However, we’ve had to get new wardrobes since he’s taken over this household chore. I recently discovered that he was washing many loads in warm or hot water and drying them on high heat. He figured, the higher the heat, the cleaner the shirt and the faster the dry. Although he might have been correct, faster also means smaller. And since half-shirts haven’t been in style since the 1980’s, I’m now considering passing along many of my tops to my 6-year-old neighbors. Thankfully, after some discussion, we’ve since gotten the process figured out and Lou can now be trusted with our garments. However, our clothes paid the price. And so did he.

I am, by nature, a critical person. I can gaze at my reflection in the mirror and find every imperfection (real or imagined) in lightning speed. Unfortunately, that critical eye has also been directed at my husband for the majority of our marriage, up until very recently, in fact. Instead of seeing a man who was trying to please me and help me with home duties, all I saw was a man who ruined my clothing. I chastised him, criticizing him for not knowing that colors are washed in cold and that you don’t dry anything on hot but towels and sheets! And I’m sad to say, my critiques did not stop there, nor have they ever. I have a history of passing judgment on everything from his appearance to the way he does his job (ridiculous, I know). I’m not proud of the way I’ve behaved. And, thankfully, God has been persistent and faithful to deal with this relationship-crippling tendency in me.

This past year, God made me aware that so much of the defeat that I’ve experienced in my life, whether it be in my marriage or out of it, is seeded in the way that I think. I have a knack for picking out a flaw in myself or Lou and rehearsing it ad nauseam, most times making it into something much worse than it really is. Because of this inclination, both Lou and I were struggling to find fulfillment in this marriage. Not only that, I was finding it difficult to find true pleasure in any facet of my life. I was always seeing the negative side or thinking of all the bad that could happen. I began to ask myself, “What is wrong with me? Why can’t I love Lou the way he deserves to be loved? Why don’t I want to spend time with my husband? Why am I always fighting against being down?” And God said something along the lines of, “Because, child, you are thinking on the wrong things.”

Instead of dwelling on what is wrong with our spouses, our children, or ourselves, God instructs us to think on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. In the original language here, to “think about” means to reckon, count over and pass to one’s account. We are called to reckon, count over, and pass to one’s account their true, noble, right, pure, lovely and admirable qualities. We are called to count up ours as well. And we are not only told to count them up, but the original word also speaks of occupying ourselves with doing so. Instead of wasting our time dwelling on flaws, God wants us to expend our mental energies on recalling excellent qualities that He has implanted in every one of us.

I can choose to think about how I was faced again with an old sin yesterday, or I can choose to think about how far God has brought me in my fight against it. I can choose to think about how frustrated I am that my son is pushing boundaries, or I can choose to reflect upon how he is extremely loving, obedient most of the time, and is just in the midst of a healthy phase. I can choose to ruminate on the clothes that I’ve lost in the laundry fiasco, or I can choose to meditate on how my husband loves me deeply and is intentional in trying to share my workload.

We must choose our thoughts. I have gone so far as to make Philippians 4:8 my life verse for 2008. It is that important. I have noticed a significant difference in my life since I have begun the practice of concentrating on our gifts instead of our flaws. No longer do I walk around under a dark cloud. I am falling more in love with my husband and with this life that God has given me to live.

Are you looking for some joy? Think about what you’re thinking about.

Memory Verse: Philippians 4:8

Father, thank You, that even in the midst of flaws and imperfections, You have given us praiseworthy qualities as well. Instead of being overwhelmed with our own faults or consumed with criticizing others’, help us to be of somber judgment: to love ourselves and others in truth. In Christ’s name, amen.

RECOVERY!!

Hello all! I hope your holidays were peaceful and rich. As for mine...I'm still recovering, so I will not be posting tonight. I'll be back on track next week. I'll actually be posting on Sunday the 6th instead of Tuesday the 8th because I will be out of state for Young Life on the 8th. I continue to be so thankful for all of you and your support. I'll "talk" to you next week.

Grateful for You,
Misti