When Good Isn't Good Enough

A couple of weeks ago I interviewed for a wonderful job with a ministry that provides physical and spiritual aid to the hurting and needing in Africa and India. After I answered questions about my qualifications and time availability, I listened as the founders of this ministry detailed what occurs in their projects. Girls and boys homes. Schools. Medical help. Christ-centered love. It was all so exciting and I quickly found myself daydreaming about writing newsletters for these servants and someday traveling to Africa to see their work in progress. At the end of our time, I expressed my excitement about the position but told them that I would have to go home and pray over the weekend to make sure God was giving me the o.k. to take the position. I assured them that I would probably be starting on Tuesday. That's what I get for speaking before praying.

I went home and did some research on the ministry, which only fueled my desire to take the position. Then I prayed, asking God to be clear on His direction, beseeching Him, really, to not let me stray from His path for me. You see, as much as I wanted to accept that job, there was something that wasn't sitting well in me. Something just didn't feel right. I began to suspect that this dis-ease was God saying no.

"But this job is perfect, God! The hours are outstanding. The money is great. . .it would allow us to finally catch up on bills. Their work is right up my alley, Lord! Why not?"

I never really got a direct answer to that question. But what I feel God did say is, "It's good. But it's not my best for you."

Hmph.

I was not happy; I'm not gonna lie. I wanted this job and I wasn't excited about laying it on the altar of obedience. But I had to ask myself whether I was going to serve myself or serve God.

"Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father and I too will love him and show myself to him." John 14:21

How many times have we heard that actions speak louder than words? I have had numerous people tell me that they love me, but their actions have betrayed their claims. So, here I was. . .where the rubber meets the road. I proclaim loudly and often that I love Jesus, but was I willing to put my money where my mouth was? Was I willing to sacrifice what I wanted to do what He wanted?

As difficult as it was, I made the phone call to turn down the perfect job. I wish I could say that I was happy to do it and that I had such peace afterward, but truthfully, I was bitter about it for a few days. Then I got over myself.

God said that He had something better for me. His best, in fact. I have no idea what that is and I'm still waiting on it, but I must trust what He says is true: that He will show Himself to me. He will guide me in the way to go. And as hard as it is for me to imagine, where he leads me will be leaps and bounds above the opportunity I passed up.

Gals, let's trust God no matter what He asks us to do knowing that in our obedience we are expressing our love to Him. What a small price to pay for what He did for us. He sacrificed His life for us; let's return the favor. Remarkably, when we do so, we are repaid with His love and intimate revelation. I'm thinkin' we're getting the good end of the deal. I'll take that deal any day!

Snuggle Up

Why is it a child can excuse himself from doing anything because he is "SOOO tired", but as soon as the bedtime routine begins, said child can transform into a human pinball? BING! BING! BING!

Every night as bedtime approaches, we follow pretty much the same schedule with Cooper in an attempt to get him geared down.

1. Shower
2. Brush Teeth
3. Read Books
4. Pray
5. "Jesus Loves Me"
6. Sleep

And, I swear, that child can be dragging himself into the bathroom claiming exhaustion, but as soon as the first drop of water hits the porcelain, he's a brand new man. Eyes aglow, appendages flailing and lips flapping. "I LOVE SHOWERS!!!!" Hmm. . .maybe the shower is counterproductive.

So I opted out of step 1 tonight trying to avoid the Tasmanian Devil Syndrome, but my strategy was to no avail. As Cooper shed his daily attire to change into his pjs, he discarded his fatigue with it. He was soon jumping on the bed half naked yelling something about lions and wrestling. Homeboy was on fire, though I did get him to listen somewhat quietly to his bedtime story about treasure hunting in some dead guy's tomb. Spiritual, I know.

After singing "Jesus Loves Me", which elicited a yawn, I left the room feeling confident that sleep would be arriving promptly. However, Cooper had different plans. . .doesn't he always?

8:30: Mom leaves room
8:32: Child comes out to go "peeps" (that's pee-pee for all you non-hip gals)
8:33: "Mommy, I just came out to pee and now I need to tell you I'm scared"
8:34: Mom prays for "scared" child and leaves room for the 2nd time
8:38: Mom commands child to stop talking to himself and go to sleep
8:45: Child yells a question from his room which becomes a 5-minute conversation
9:00: Child asks mommy to come lay with him because he "just wants to be with her"

You know, what are you going to do at this point, turn that down? So, I trekked into his room and reclined with my sweet angel. As I did he made sure to inform me that he would be having NO covers. He then tossed and turned for a couple of minutes, but then he rolled over and looked at me. He didn't say a word but he let me cover him up and he snuggled in and fell asleep in less than a minute. It seemed that all he needed for that restless half hour was my presence.

As I left his room (for the 3rd time), I thought how I am so much like him. I'm always having to get out of bed to go peeps. No, but really, I do find myself restless sometimes. I am tossing and turning and running and yelling trying to find some way to express my disquiet. I so easily forget that the peace and soul rest that I need is found in cuddling up to the Father and reclining in His arms.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. . .He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart." Psalm 91:1,4

We live in a broken world overrun with sin and depravity. If we look around long enough we can worry ourselves to death. Just going through our day with all its pressures, conflicts, and struggles can get us worried about how we're ever going to make it. But, sister, God has gathered us up and covered us with his feathers. Like a mother hen, He has sheltered us from the outside elements. As much as we feel assaulted and overwhelmed, could you imagine what our lives would be like if we were not being protected by our all-powerful God? He is protecting you from anything that you cannot handle, that is not for your good, and that would not glorify Him.

Whatever you are presently being called to endure, find rest in the covering of the Father's mighty wings. Stop running. Stop trying to figure it out. Stop complaining. Stop doubting.

Just Stop.

He knows what He's doing. Trust Him; He's got you!

Now that you're still...(deep breath)...do you feel that? It's like the coziest down comforter, isn't it? Let the Father remind you that you are covered and that His presence is near. Now, rest, sister. Rest.

Father, thank you that you are safe and and that we are protected by you. Help us to remember in our daily struggles, no matter how big or small, that simple but peaceful truth. You have us covered. You care. You are for us. You will never leave us and you are ever for our good. We love you and are choosing to trust you today no matter what is going on around us. Amen.

Who's Plan, Anyway?

Howdy, girls! Happy Labor Day! Well, since Lou is home today, I took advantage of the extra set of hands and sent him out of the house with Cooper to give myself some time alone. In the quiet. With no one talking. Just me and my computer and Bible. In the quiet (oh, did I say that already?). And let me tell you, I love the stillness. No Transformer laser gun blasts, or "Mommy, can you get me that" or yelling from across the house. What's up with this, anyway? Why can't we just get our butts off the couch and walk the 10 feet to the other person? I mean, from one end of our house to the other is seriously no more than 15 steps. I know; I just did it. Anyway, I love my boys desperately, but sometimes I just need a little peace and quiet.

So, as I was relishing the sound of nothing, I thought this would be a perfect time for me to sit down and write you girls a little devo., but as I knelt to ask God what He wanted me to say, I felt Him telling me to get out to that pool and live it up with Lou and Coop. He also reminded me of something that I read this morning in He Speaks to Me by Priscilla Shirer:

"Ignoring what seems like an interruption ignores God's attempt to move me away from my plan for my day to His plan for my day...Sister, to continue with your plans without regarding life's interruptions is to ignore God's leading and voice."

I can look at this fun escape to the pool as an interruption to what I need to get done, or I can peer closer and see it for what it really is, God instructing me on His plan for my day. I simply must obey and leave the rest in His hands. And girls, I encourage you to do the same. When the next interruption comes like a wrecking ball to your plans, embrace it. Know that it is God guiding you along the path He has for you. Wouldn't you rather that path anyway, seeing that He's all-knowing and all?

So, I'm off. I'm thinking a cannonball sound like fun. Love you, girls!

Stick Figures and Selfishness

No, this is not one of Cooper's drawings. This is a piece of my journal "art". I've just recently picked up this new quirk from a friend of mine (thanks, Aimee); i've started putting some of my thoughts into pictures. I have, in the past, used charts and graphs as a way to organize my chaotic thought patterns, but upon reading my friend's journal (with her approval-we sometimes share our journals) I saw cute little sketches scattered about and I thought, Hey! Why didn't I think of that? I want to do pictures (whiney voice here)! So, here is one of my latest.

I'm not sure if you can even tell what it is. But this is a picture of where I stand in my family right now (top picture) and what I'm working towards (bottom picture). To the left are the words

My Needs
My Emotions
Me

Around those words are, no, not jump ropes. Those are arms. And to the right of both pictures are me (I'm the one with the beautiful head of ringlets) and my boys...Cooper and Lou. Now, if you can get by the elementary skill level of the piece, you'll notice a couple of things.

Top Picture: My needs are being embraced by me and both my boys are asking me to be with them.
Bottom Picture: My needs are being embraced by God and I'm embracing my family.

Here are the words that I wrote right before I sketched this masterpiece:

"If I could just get my focus off of myself and trust You to fulfill my needs. I've been so dependent on myself for so long--I just don't trust anyone else to care for me. But in taking care of me, I've got nothing left for anyone else! Such an inward focus--everyone else just gets my back."

God has been really speaking to me about living the sanctified life. About being different. About being a servant. It is so countercultural, and as you can tell from my sketches, so against everything in me, yet it is something that Jesus instructs us to do over and over.

"...Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave to all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Mark 10:43-45

These verses are key to me. Yes, they tell us to serve others, even using the word "slave", but they also remind me of how I have been served. Jesus, the King of Kings, gave his life for me. His entire life was a service of love to His people. If that was His purpose and His ambition, who am I to think that I would be any different?

The problem is, I'm afraid that if I don't take care of myself then no one will. I don't trust. I don't let anyone in beyond a certain point. I am protective of myself. But I have found that in protecting myself, in serving me, I shut everyone else out. The people I love the most are left with an emotionally exhausted, frazzled, dismissive woman. I am so tired from taking care of my "stuff" that I have nothing left to give.

Anybody tracking with me? Anyone else out there just sick and tired of being all about themselves? I want so badly to be the woman in the second picture. I want to be confident that my God is taking care of everything that I need, and in that confidence to be freed up to lavish a service of love onto my family, friends, and community. It will be so; praise God. But I've got to learn to trust Him, don't I? Don't we? We have to trust Him with everything and depend on Him for everything.

I'll be honest; I don't think I know what that looks like quite yet. I'm still figuring it out. Right now it consists of revisiting some old, painful, hidden places and exposing them to Him. Letting Him behind the walls and learning how to let Him heal me. It also involves me stopping and turning to Him as a source of comfort when everything in me screams to turn inward and shut everyone out. It consists of me admitting to Him that I can't do it all, that nothing good lives in my flesh. And, presently, it means active surrender. Laying my plans, actions, thoughts and emotions on His altar of truth and love. Is He trustworthy? Will he take care of me, protect me, and lead me in the right direction? His word says he will. Listen to this....Oh, man. I tried to load the video of Coop saying Psalm 23, but I couldn't figure it out. Reading will have to do...just imagine an adorable, chubby-cheeked 4-yr-old reciting it.

Psalm 23

1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

3 he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, [a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

If I'm going to say I'm a Christian, I need to act like it. I need to believe God's word and His word says clearly that He is trustworthy to take care of me. We can trust Him, girls. Let's do whatever it takes to do so. And in releasing our needs to Him, we will find energy and love we never knew we had to serve those around us. No more selfishness.

Father God, this is by far one of the hardest things I've ever had to learn. But please, God, help us to get it. We don't want to be selfish anymore! Give us everything we need to learn to trust you to take care of us so that we can expend our energies on others. We love you, amen.

Will Post

Busy Day. Stay tuned; I will post either tonight or tomorrow. Love you girls!

What are You Waiting On?

Have you been as wrapped up in the Olympics as I have? Oh, there's nothing like watching the best athletes of the world compete for the #1 position in their personal sport. I love it!! My favorite event to watch thus far has been, of course, the Michael Phelps show. Can you believe that EVERY time he raced he won a gold medal? Unbelievable. But what I loved watching even more was Dara Torres. You might not know who she is, but her story is phenomenal. She is a 41-yr-old American swimmer who is competing in her 5th Olympics. She won 3 medals for our country this year, bringing her career medal count to 12! She's amazing. She's also a mother of a two-year old daughter who is anxiously awaiting her mommy's arrival home. When asked in an interview what she would tell her daughter someday about this Olympics Dara replied, "To never put an age limit on your dreams." Don't you love that?

A more obscure athlete that I saw only tonight was a 33-yr-old female gymnast from Germany. She competed in the individual vault competition and walked away with a silver medal hanging around her neck! Now, I'm only a couple of years older than she, but I can't picture in my wildest imaginings barreling down a runway, catapulting myself into the air and twisting myself into a pretzel before landing ever so delicately on the mat. What she has accomplished at such an advanced age is inspiring. I guess no one ever told her to put an age limit on her dreams either.

How about you? Have you been dreaming of something but have yet to see it come to fruition?

I know that as I battled with panic attacks and paralyzing fear for close to 10 years, I began to lose hope that I would ever gain the victory over them that I had been praying for. I began to think that there was no way that I would ever be free from this predator that seemed to chase me down wherever I went. I had simply been battling for too long. However, God, in His own timing crushed the head of the one who pursued me. And while He did so, He also taught me how to fight. If He would have just delivered me the first time I cried out, I would have no clue how to handle the next attack that came. I had to wait, yes. But what I got out of the wait was more valuable than a simple delivery from harm. I received my battle gear, the Art of War instruction manual, and the confidence in the power of my God.

Have you lost hope in the wait? Be encouraged, friend! Your God has not forgotten you or hung you out to dry, for He has promised that He will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). Be assured that He is right there next to you accomplishing a great thing in you. It may be possible that He is teaching you to fight with Him instead of against Him. He may be teaching you patience, I don't know. But what I know beyond a shadow of a doubt is God is faithful to his people. He will not let you down. . .He will save you.

"Why are you downcast, Oh my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." Psalm 42:5

He IS your Savior.
He IS your God.

And He will come through. And sister, I promise you, what He has for you will be worth the wait.

Father, it is difficult to be patient when we are so uncomfortable. But, Lord, please help us to trust you while you accomplish great works in and around us, and help us to learn the lessons you are trying to teach us through it all. We love you, amen.

Zany for Z-Straps

Are you a part of the Z Strap craze? I myself knew nothing of it until Cooper informed me that he just had to have a pair, which he decided after spotting them on his cousin Tyler's feet. I ask you, how does a 4-year-old have shoe envy already? We are doomed! Anyway, when his grandparents heard of his "need" they promptly escorted us to the local mall so they could purchase Coop his very own pair. You should have seen him when he found out what we were doing. You would have thought I fed him sugar cubes for breakfast. He was either running, jumping, or screaming the entire morning.

As we arrived at the shoe department of JC Penney's, he made a bee line to the Sketchers and found himself the perfect pair of z-straps. They were black. And had lights. Ugh! Thank God they didn't have a pair that fit him. After trying on a few more models, we found a pair on which we could all agree and that had nary a light. Thank You, Jesus. He, of course, insisted on donning his new kicks out of the store, and I had to admit, they were good lookin'. Coop can make just about anything look cute but that's beside the point. Here's the pair we decided on.















They don't look like they have super powers, do they? I know. . .I thought they appeared common myself, but according to Cooper, they harness all of the power in the universe and make him stronger, quicker, and a much better jumper. Magic shoes (That was my Forest Gump voice again. Italics equals Forest.) In between time trials from one store to the next to clock his increased speed, he would look up at me and say, "Mommy! Look how high I can jump!" He firmly believes that when he slips his cute little feet into those shoes he is more powerful than when he is sporting commonplace sandals. For him, it's simple. The advertisements say these shoes make him more powerful, so it must be so (brilliant super hero marketing, by the way).

Wouldn't it be something if we believed God's truths so simply and thoroughly? What if we actually took Him at his word and acted on it? It's easy to say we believe Him, but our actions prove what we really embrace as truth.

What has God been telling you? I'll share mine with you just to get your brain juices flowing. I have been battling with God over whether or not to have another child. We had settled on stopping after Cooper and had peace about it, but recently I have been plagued by questions like, "What if I heard God wrong?", "Will he be lonely?", "Are we depriving him?", and "Will he be okay?" I just couldn't get it through my thick skull that having only one child, though uncommon, is just fine if it's what God has ordained. After driving myself mad with questions of the unknown, I had to decide. Either I was going to believe God on this or not. I could either take Him at His word and trust Him enough to walk it out, or question Him and take it into my own hands. And we all know how that usually turns out.

So, I'll ask it again. What has God been telling you?

That you are scandalously loved despite your failings?

That you CAN get through this tough time if you stick with Him?

That your marriage IS salvageable and can be turned into a loving relationship?

That your prayers are heard and important?

That you can be victorious?

What if you acted on those truths? How would your life look different? I've decided to trust God on this only child thing and see all the wonderful things He has planned through it. Why don't you give it a shot, too? Trust Him, smash through those fears, and walk it out. You just might discover you have magic shoes, too!

Father God, help us to believe you. Help us to hear clearly what you are saying to us and enable us to believe you enough to act on it. We love you, amen.

A Friend's a Friend Forever. . .

This is my friend from Malaysia, Paige, and one of her little ones. No, obviously, she doesn't hail from the small country on the opposite side of the world, but she does currently reside there with her family. How exciting, huh? To live in a magical land where the trees are home to meddlesome monkeys instead of scurrying squirrels. Where a nearby town houses a chocolate fountain that you could shower in (my husband's dream by the way) and having a driver to escort you about town is commonplace. Paige and her family have opted out of the daily chauffeur, but they do partake in most things Malaysian. She has taken in sights and holiday celebrations galore and is even indulging in the local cuisine. She's a wonderful cook and I'm fairly sure she will return with decadent Asian recipes when her time in the tropics is complete. I can't wait! I'm so excited for her and all of the adventures she is embarking upon, but still. . .I miss her terribly.

You see, Paige and I used to lead Young Life together. We had the honor of telling high school girls about the Lover of their souls. And we got to do it together. We had our kids 6 months apart and they became the best of friends. Don't tell anyone, but I actually envisioned what our lives would look like when her daughter and my son got married and Paige actually became part of my family. We would be loud and somewhat embarrassing, by the way. We ate together often and swapped stories of crazy children and even crazier husbands. We shared food, family, and faith. In short, we shared life. And it's something I've missed since she left a year ago.

So, I was ecstatic when I learned Paige and her fam would be "in the States" for 6 weeks (how cool to be able to use that term). I determined to spend as much time with them as possible, so I made the trek down to Houston this weekend. And let me tell you how good God is. . .it's as if a year had not even passed! I decided not to ask her a lot about Malaysia because I figured she had spent 5 weeks telling the same stories over and over again. So, we just started chatting about what was on our minds and where our hearts were. It was such a sweet time. Not only did we have "girl talk" and have playtime with our kids, but we also shared a meal with some old Young Life girls. It was a return to the last place we had been together. Yes, time had passed. Our YL girls had graduated from college, our little ones were a couple of inches taller, and there were details about her new daily life that I knew nothing about. But here we were, sharing life again. We didn't miss a beat. It was rich.

I think this is what a true friend is. A person who is excited to see you and share life with you even when it's been a while since you've done so. One that knows you so well that you don't have to bother with "catching up" but can move right on to heart matters. A friend who loves you despite the distance.

You know, God is that kind of God.

In the story of the prodigal son, a wayward boy returns shamefully home expecting the rebuke of his father.

"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him." Luke 15:20

Friend, have you strayed away from God? Have you created a distance between the two of you that seems so far that there is no way back? Return to Him! He is searching the horizon waiting for just a glance of your distant silouette.

Are you afraid of a harsh rebuke or an unkind word upon your arrival? Check this out:

"Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity." Joel 2:13

Sister, we have a God who in His overflowing love and compassion is waiting to close the distance. He's not ready to pounce but to embrace. And in returning to Him, in approaching Him in prayer, we'll have no need to catch up, for He knows us better than we know ourselves. We need only to share our lives with Him. Yes, there may be some repenting and apologizing to do, but forgiveness awaits. Go. Return. A friendship like no other is ready to be rekindled. Never really had a friendship with God? Light the fire, baby! This friendship is a true friendship no matter the present physical distance.

Father God, thank you for your patience with us and our rebellion. We are so thankful that you are slow to anger and that you abound in love. Give us the courage to come back to a place of intimacy with you and to find Your peace. Thank you for your unfathomable love. Amen.

Returning This Week

Okay, all. I think we've all discovered that if I don't give myself a designated day to post, then I simply won't post at all. So, I'm going to establish one. I will be posting every Monday that I'm in town. There, I said it; now I must do it. This will allow you to simply check on Mondays alone and if there isn't a new post then that means I'm out of town and won't be posting until the following Monday. That being said, today is Monday and I don't have the time to commit to a full devotional. However, I will post within the next couple of days. Then, I will be out of town for Young Life camp in Colorado (YEA, BABY!) for about a week. Then, watch out! I should be back on the horse supplying you with a fresh word every week. Thank you so much for being patient with my schedule and lack of discipline. Life should be back to "normal" in August, which will free me up to have a more consistent writing time. Thanks, all! I love you dearly!

The Anger Bank

Up until very recently, I HATED going to the bank. Probably because it usually included us having to deal with some insufficient fund issue or problem with our account. It also reminded me just how desperately inept we were at handling our finances. However, two months ago we started attending Dave Ramsey classes. If you are looking for a way to get rid of debt, save for your future and kids' college, and get to a place where you're giving money away, this is the way to go! I actually have peace in this area like I've never had before and much of it has to do with the "envelope system" he suggests. At the beginning of the month, we pull out cash to pay for gas, groceries, toiletries, and the like and put them in designated envelopes. You only buy these things with this money. When the cash runs out, you don't eat or drive your car. Actually seeing your money being spent helps you spend less. It hurts much more when it's cash! We actually have enough money to last the entire month instead of running out halfway through. Anyway, now I LOVE going to the bank. Not only are we more financially stable, but I get to go and pull out a wad of cash! So much fun!

Well, y'all (yes, I'm from Texas and I will use that word even if it is not grammatically refined) have heard me mention time and again my tendency to be quick to anger. It's something that I've dealt with for a long time and have wondered where it all comes from. Well, Brenda (my counselor) has informed me that I possess an "anger bank". Funny that someone who used to hate visiting such a place would be lugging one around every day. It seems that many hurtful things were deposited into the vault as rejection or hurt but were withdrawn as anger. Did you know that anger is a secondary emotion? It develops from a hurt of some sort. Interesting. I just thought I was angry; I didn't know I was hurt.

So, now the task is to "drain the bank". Ugh! And if anger is not the real culprit, you know what is--the hurt. She has told me that we have to go in and "lance the wound". Drain the wound, drain the anger bank. We are presently embarking on that journey. It includes a lot of delving into my past, drudging up old pains, and digging into my true feelings about them. Amazingly, as hard as it has been at some points, I am experiencing God like I never have before. I'm actually hearing Him in my times with Him and He has opened my eyes to His movement in my life. I was so blinded for such a long time and now I am seeing for the first time that He is truly a God of love. For reasons I might divulge at a later time, I just couldn't believe that. I thought he was big, scary, selfish, and out to hurt me. And when hurtful events came to pass in my life, they fed that view and made it more believable. But, HALLELUJAH, He is shattering that warped picture of Himself.

I ran from counseling for a long time. My excuses were valid: we didn't have the money, or I was too busy with work and Cooper to invest the time. But, in taking this step that God led me to, He is proving faithful. It was a big step, and has taken some sacrifice, but I was just desperate enough. I finally arrived at a place where I was sick of living in defeat and letting Satan gain the victory over me. ENOUGH!I yelled within myself.

Ladies, are you there yet? Are you desperate for victory in a place you've struggled for years? Have you given up anywhere in your life? Has it just been too lengthy of a battle for you to really believe that you could conquer it? If you hear nothing else, here this:

It is your God's will for you to live in victorious freedom!

"No, in all things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." Romans 8:37

Nope, don't just quickly read over that and move on. Go back and read it again. More Than Conquerors! You are meant to triumph over your stuff (that's what I call it because the word "crap" doesn't seem appropriate for a devotional). Do you remember the woman who bled for 12 straight years? Do you think she was desperate--at a place where she had just about given up? Maybe she went to Jesus as her last resort, but she did go. She turned to the only one who could heal her fully, and that very thing He did. I love the way The Message says it.

"Then [Jesus] reassured her: "Courage, daughter. You took a risk of faith, and now you're well." The woman was well from then on."

A risk of faith. It is a risk isn't it? You're turning to Jesus to heal you; what happens if He doesn't come through? I have often feared that very thing. But I'm coming to see that He will heal, sister. He will. It may look a little different than we would have thought, but He will come through. And really, do you have another choice? It's turn to your Healer or stay where you're at. You can do this! Listen to a portion of my favorite hymn (I think it's a hymn. It is in my mind, anyway). My favorite version is by FFH. As the song progresses it almost explodes at the point in the lyrics below. The emphasis is mine.

In Christ Alone
There in the ground His body lay,
Light of the world by darkness slain;
Then bursting forth in glorious day,
Up from the grave He rose again!
And as He stands in victory,
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me;
For I am His and He is mine—
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death—
This is the pow'r of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home—
Here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand.


That same Christ who conquered death is living in you ready to conquer your past failings and present struggles. Turn to Him; trust Him. He will not fail you. I'll sum up with this final verse:

"He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all--how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?" Romans 8:32

God sent His Son to die for us; it was an investment in our lives of the deepest kind. Will He now just leave us to our own devices? Only if we don't let Him in. He wants in; open the door. Yes, it is difficult to expose the dark places to Him. But I've found that there is such comfort in it. He doesn't condemn; He heals. And isn't that what we're after? Deep to the core healing? Invite Him into the broken places so He can make you whole.

Thanks for listening. I love sharing the adventure of Christ with you. I love you.

Jesus, give us the courage to forge into the dark places with You. Thanks that You are faithful to forgive and heal. Draw us under Your protective wings as we become vulnerable. We love you. Amen.

New article up on Ungrind.org. If you're interested in reading it, click here.